When I first started blogging, I was warned never to look at the comment section at the bottom of the webpage. If I did, I would glimpse a dark, miserable place inhabited by trolls. However having been a fan of trolls for much of my childhood, specifically the little plastic ones with bright, coloured hair, I naturally didn't heed these warnings. Indeed, since my first blog post, I have spent much of time with the trolls down below, mainly because it really is just great fun.
I have over the past few months worked out a few ways to get a good response from the trolls. If I say any of the following, I can rest assured that I will be insulted as some sort of sub-human socialist euro-gremlin. I know troll baiting is a cruel sport, like fox hunting or seal clubbing, but I just can't help it.
'The European Union hasn't been all bad for the UK' is one sure fire way of getting my virtual face slapped. Similarly, if I say 'immigrants can be useful members of society', it's likely that I'll have cyber-sh*t chucked on my HuffPost avatar. I've not dared mention gay marriage, but I'm sure if I did, I would have to delete my Internet presence and go into hiding.
The above statements are of course all true. No sane person would deny that the EU has been good for the UK in some ways. Immigrants, especially rich Americans with PhDs, are quite handy in a flat-lining economy. And, dare I say it, there are some decent arguments for giving men who love men and women who love women the chance to marry.
It's no coincidence that most supporters of Ukip tend to be of the view that the EU is the Death Star, immigrants usually rape white school girls and gay marriage will usher in the end of Western civilisation as we know it. But are they actually racist homophobic bigots, as many claim? I'm not so sure.
I'm not ashamed to say it, I do share some of the Ukipper concerns. I think we should probably leave the EU, toughen up our borders a bit and accept that religious people have legitimate concerns when it comes to gay marriage. But that doesn't make me want to vote Ukip. Why?
Like most people, when I'm angry, I say things I don't really mean. I've insulted people, spat at people, hurled abuse at people. When I'm angry, the world is black and white. The feeling of 'being right' is as intoxicating as a shot of tequila, but just as pointless and bad for you. But when I'm calm, the world is a never-ending spectrum of grey. That's why I take everything I read in the comment section with a large table spoon of salt. This is for the simple fact that angry people tend not to be rational people, and that goes for me as much as it does for the next mini-Hitler or Stalin.
In a previous post, someone declared in a comment that I 'hate Ukip and don't have the guts to admit it'. I found this to be an interesting statement, given that I don't really hate many things and I certainly don't waste my energy on hating things like Ukip. I don't hate Ukip in the slightest! On the contrary, as I said in a previous post, they have done a wonderful job of slapping several large, cold fish, repeatedly in the faces of most politicians. I just don't think angry people, which Ukippers tend to be, are very good at making good decisions, like those involved in running a country, for example.
In a nutshell, I agree with Ukippers on a view things, but then I would never vote Ukip because I'm just not that angry .
And for anyone reading this who thinks I'm being patronising and would like to leave me a comment, I would recommend chilling out and having a cup of tea (or a joint, depending how rightwing you actually are). You might die tomorrow, so why on earth waste today spitting fire at a computer screen? I promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that I couldn't care less what you call me. Please send me a private email rather than a comment below so I definitely receive it. I always take the time to reply.