We all have rough days, even those that keep their cool and look like the perfect Pinterest mum have them, or that's what I tell myself anyway.
With a toddler knocking around nothing is going to be easy all of the time surely, same goes for a baby! So I think it's important we remember that we don't always have to be "fine", we all have limits and breaking points, and it is OK.
As parents I think we experience high highs and low lows, and everything in between. It's how we deal with them that matters.
You know when you just have one of those days that makes you wish it away? Makes you want to be elsewhere, doesn't matter where just somewhere else? Makes you think you're doing something wrong, you must be? Makes you think your child must really not like you, I mean why else would they be like this?
I could go on, but you get the picture. And if you too are the owner of a small child then hopefully you're nodding in agreement and not thinking what is she on about, if you are thinking that then go you, supermum!
Recently we have been having some difficult days, more like hours really, usually when D just doesn't want to cooperate for whatever reason and will just have a meltdown making things really difficult. Usually I don't know the reason why it started and so resolving it is difficult and takes a lot of distraction! They seem to just come from nowhere. We can be playing nicely together and all of a sudden the tantrum begins and she can get so into it that it's hard to break her out of it.
Take last night for example, one minute she is busy playing before her bath happy as Larry, the next we have screaming, shouting, throwing things out of nowhere. It ended in us sat either end of her bedroom just staring at each other, both as upset as one another. I could actually have cried, what did we do to make her so upset? Somehow you end up thinking it was all your fault, mum guilt strikes again.
But I like to think we have all been there, maybe not to those levels but in that sad place none the less.
Being a mum is wonderful and I am so grateful but it's not easy and we shouldn't fool ourselves into thinking it is either. Loving another little person so much can be overwhelming and tiring! Especially during those tricky times.
When I notice that she is at that turning point and I can see the frustration building I try to go to her level and talk to her, help her understand whatever it is that's annoying her or find out what is that's upsetting her so we can get over it and move on. But on these random, thankfully rare (doesn't feel like it this week!) occasions there is no lead up to the major event!! So we have no warning of what is to come, we just have to deal with the aftermath!
The hardest thing is even though deep down you know it's not something you've done, you still look for reasons you could be to blame. You still go to bed feeling sad that they were so upset, when in reality you did all you could.
At times like this I just try to think of the good times, happy days and focus on that as they far outweigh those "battle" hours that seem to go on forever.
Please tell me I'm not alone!!!