12/05/2016 06:33 BST | Updated 12/05/2017 06:12 BST

Parenting The Ab Fab Way!


OK, have you seen the trailer for the new Ab Fab film? Funny doesn't come close ... absolutely hilarious to ridiculously magnified proportions is getting you somewhere nearer ... Saunders and Lumley are just brilliant ... totally inspiring (don't worry, I'll be exploring this further) ... and it got me thinking about Absolutely Fabulous and the way one chooses to parent ...

Now, I'm not talking about being absolutely fabulous at parenting ... though I'm sure all of you are ... but, personally, I'm not putting myself into that type of bracket ... however, what I am talking about is Eddie and Patsy. Totally fabulous! Their parenting skills are right on point! On fleek, as my girls would say. What? You don't agree? OK, let me try and convince you ... think I may just be able to sway some ... a few will start to waiver, I'm sure ... oh come on, have you seen how much damn fun those girls have? When was the last time you had that much fun? Seriously?

So, the unwritten rule as a kid is to rebel, rebel, rebel ... parent suggests an early night ... teen thinks let's stay up all night. Parent suggests teen gets some studying done ... teen thinks yeah right let's spend all night on my phone. Parent suggests teen doesn't do something ... teen does it! You get my drift? So, the general rule, if you're a teen, is let's do the total bloody opposite ... and I don't blame them ... how dull are parents trying to make their teens? I'm bored, too, of parenting this way ... I can't imagine how they feel ... well I can, actually, because they demonstrate, on a regular basis, quite clearly with attitude-laden confused frowns, cocked eyebrows and eye rolling ... oh, believe me, it's all in the eyes ... no need to vocalise ... just use the eyes ... lots! Or, on occasion ... just simply say "Oh. OK" ... when it obviously isn't "Oh. OK!"

Now, Eddie, aka Jennifer Saunders, clearly says, well in a roundabout fashion, with lippy on, fag elevated high in one hand, drink in the other ... sod this parenting malarkey sweetie, let's go be raucous ... let's be outrageous ... and what happens? Saffy, Eddie's daughter, aka Julia Sawalha, is the geekiest most sensible kid you could ever meet ... and, on top of being conscientious and bright, she cooks and cleans and parents Eddie and Patsy stunningly! Is she not the perfect child? The one that will go so far? Make the grade? Not cause you an absurd amount of stress?

Now, don't get me wrong, but what on earth is wrong with that? How on earth can you rebel against a parenting style so totally 'not parenting' other than become the total opposite? ... a dream child, so far from what her parents are ... and, if most were honest with themselves, parenting a Saffy would be an absolute dream ... I'm buying into this Ab Fab parenting style nicely thanks!

In fact, I love it! It's a total parenting revelation ... cut the nagging bossy parenting routine ...where's the party? ... cut the not going out on a Saturday night as have to pick the kids up from their party ... where's the Bolly? Cut the cooking and cleaning ... let's indulge the hangovers! Cut the having to be responsible all the time ... I'm Ab Fabbing it from now on ... I'm raising Saffy style kids ... no more moaning, no more dull, dull, dull ... where's my lippy? Where's my drink? Where's the party? ... who's coming with me? Who wants to be my Patsy? ... just saying sweetie!

Disclaimer: Best if we just ignore all the drugs, promiscuity and excessive drinking ... oh and ... trailer spoiler alert ... the killing of a celebrity!