19/05/2014 11:55 BST | Updated 16/07/2014 06:59 BST

Oh, to Be Bisexual

As a heterosexual man trying to find love in this world, straight away my choices are cut by 50%. Then there's the language barriers and geography. Oh to be bisexual: not to care about the genitalia of another person and only care about the person for themselves. With no preference for the gender of a person, then it just becomes about how you connect as two people. Being able to appreciate a person's whole being and be attracted to anyone would be exciting and liberating.

It wouldn't matter if you were in a club with mostly guys, at a lecture with predominantly women there, or anywhere basically. I would love to have so much choice. I used to think, through profound ignorance, that 'bisexual' as a sexuality was just a stepping stone to being gay and so would just wait for people to confirm they were so rather than take this as what they could actually be.


I am not alone in this thinking, and the 'greedy' tag persists, ironically in a world of capitalism and egotistical bankers and stock brokers. People coming out as bisexual are faced with being presumed to be in a 'phase' or 'confused'. This is really sad. The difficulty in determining what gender you like can be a problem for many bisexuals and that conundrum should be appreciated. We tolerate lesbians, and gay men (less so), but what about bisexuals? Society needs you to be in one box or another: to be black or white in your choices, likes and way of life. Yet seriously, what the hell is normal? If you were to be deemed normal, surely that is so uncommon you are in fact abnormal? A spectrum of weird - that's what we're all on.

If only sexuality were a choice. I'd change right now. But you can't change who you are, as many people who are bisexual have discovered. Just choose already! Stop fancying everyone! Sigh. As if a heterosexual man fancies every woman he meets. When you apply all the homophobic reactions to a heterosexual person, it is so simple to see with this turn-on-the-head approach how ridiculous these reactions are.

It's simple. Bisexual people like men and women. If anything, we that aren't bisexual should be jealous - but in a nice way.

Photo by Jack Fletcher.