In a childhood, far far away, I watched Star Wars episodes over and over again.
As a head towards my 40th birthday, I still love to watch the Star Wars films with my kids, because they give me a sense of hope and power.
At my latest sitting, something Yoda said to Luke jumped out at me. It's since become a mini mantra!
As Luke struggles to lift a ship out of the swamp he says to Yoda: "I can't believe it."
Yoda replies: "That is why you fail."
Image: author's own
No matter what you're aiming for in life, if you don't believe in it, or in your ability to get it, then there's really no point in trying.
Your belief is everything
When my eight-year-old son set about building his Lego Millenium Falcon, he believed that he could do it. He told us all that he'd do it bit by bit and he tackled a bag at a time, only when he felt inspired to do so.
We'd been warned by a close friend who'd built the same kit with his son, that the last pieces were tricky. We passed on the warning to our son, so that the pieces didn't fly everywhere if too much pressure was applied. My son smiled and told us everything would be fine and, sure enough, it was.
Image: author's own
My own self belief has wavered in life. The toughest times were as a teenager, then as a new mum. I listened to the opinions of others too much and didn't believe in myself. I felt that I was missing some special quality to achieve what I wanted to, or that things had to be hard. Guess what? That's what I got.
So, how do you believe in yourself? Especially when things seem bleak?
Remember it's about focus
Whatever you focus on in life, that's what you get. If you're constantly thinking about your problems, your weaknesses and your worries then you're giving more power to them.
Here are some things to try:
- Put on your rose-tinted glasses and focus on what you want instead. Pay attention to what's working out for you and the solutions you'd like to see. Your shift in perspective can bring about happier times. I'm not telling you to bury your head in the sand if you need to sort out your finances, but a positive mindset does lead to a positive experience.
- Trust that the difficult times in your life are an opportunity. You can never see the big picture, so it's good to trust that the difficult situations you're in are serving you in some way. My most challenging times are those when I've learned the most and realised that I'm stronger than I think. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing.
- Take time out to look after yourself. Show yourself respect by being kind to yourself. A good night's sleep can fix lots of problems. So too can eating foods to help you thrive, exercising away stress and meditating to keep your thoughts positive. These techniques can all work wonders. I've got a 'go to' box of tricks that I turn to when I want to feel better about who I am. When I let these habits slip, my outlook takes a negative turn.
- Follow your passions. I believe that we each have our own unique gifts. We're all different for a reason. If you do what makes you happy and what you enjoy, then your self belief can grow.
- Give yourself a break. Know that no-one is perfect and we all have 'bad days'. Accept the things you can't do and seek to get help to be better at them, or let them go. Despite being a Nutritional Advisor, my husband is a much better cook than me. I know the recipes I can do well. I let him make the rest.
If you can try just a few of these things then your self belief can grow, but know that it's best if you can make it a daily habit. It takes practise to focus on the positive. Unfortunately, the negative is easier to believe.
"The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the light, the future is."
Yoda
So, just do your best, bit by bit. Self belief is everything and you owe it to yourself to believe in you.
For more help to be happy and confident, check out The Happy Woman: Fun Book, The Happy Teenager: Fun Book or The Happy Child: Fun Book.
You can also follow Jaelithe on Facebook.