What was the last item you bought for over £600? A car, computer or even a very, very special item of clothing? How about a roof to put over your head for only £600? We can't promise it'll be particular warm, comfortable or even waterproof but nonetheless its a roof. It'll also be made of tarpaulin because these, are tents. Designer tents. The next step up in the ridiculousness of festival fashion and dare I say it...Glamping is the new range of beautiful tents from FieldCandy.
It all started with the development of the Hunter wellies. Eighty quid for a piece of rubber to keep your feet dry, ridiculous but at least they are of a high enough quality and wellies themselves are an absolute necessity after your sleeping bag. The Hunter is likely to last you numerous treks through the mud in your favourite festival field, whilst the cheaper option is barely likely to last the weekend.
Following that came the development of the festival cosmetics. Personally I find it liberating for five days every summer to get greasy and downright disgusting. The satisfaction of a shower on your return makes you realise how lucky we are and how we rely on it. Everyone is in the same boat at the festival so you don't even get paranoid.
Until the bunch of amateur festival goers you mistakenly planted your tents next to on Thursday afternoon bring out a large plastic bag full of water and leave it to warm up in the sun. Two or so hours later, the ritual takes an even stranger turn as members of the group begin to take clothes off and raise the bag into the air chanting. Not only has the festival shower been invented but gas powered straighteners are almost a festival essential for some now. They use portable cannisters so you can look your best falling over in the mud. If every girl on someone's shoulders was made up as if it were her wedding day there would be no authenticity to the festival.
Back to my original point, £600 for a tent is appalling. The designs are beautifully made, tents to look like books, watermelons, the night sky, computer motherboards, maps and even a silhouette of a couple kissing. On the other hand, they're still tents. Flimsy pieces of material which you're meant to feel freezing in at night and begin to boil in come sunrise. Tents will inevitably:
- Be stamped on
- Be covered in beer/sick/other liquids
- Be disgusting after having five nights of rough usage
If I won the lottery I'd have 60 of these and makes some kind of amazing fort but I am not, in fact I couldn't even afford to buy a tent pole from this designer. Yet I still get by in my plain green tent which catches no attention. Teepees, although a great way to allow all your mates to stay together at a festival, do draw unwanted attention.
Although most festivals are places of peace and love, like anywhere you still do get the odd bad egg so it's a good idea not to draw any attention to your valuables. By buying a designer or impressive tent you are almost flashing your cash into the faces of passers by. In my opinion, festivals are best experienced by going back to the cheap, disposable basics.