11/09/2015 06:19 BST | Updated 11/09/2016 06:12 BST

Dear 'Daily Mail', Just Like the Feminazi Lawyer, I Also Ogle Men Online

Well, that was unexpected. The massive feminazi barrister Charlotte Proudman, who called out a lawyer 30 years her senior for messaging her to say she was 'stunning', sits around on Facebook all day, ogling men. AND women.

daily mail

Here's the dictionary definition of 'ogle', just so you know:

to look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently.

And I'm just going to say it. I don't want to shock you, I know it's early in the morning. But I DON'T think the Daily Mail have got it right this time. I don't really agree with their decision to expose 'how the Feminazi lawyer ogles men online'. Not because I think they are being horrendous sexist bigots who have taken some perfectly innocent Facebook comments completely out of context to try and undermine an attempt to criticise sexism. But because I am annoyed that they are exposing mine and Charlotte's methods.

I mean, I really hate it when men thirty years older than me send me messages saying that I have the best LinkedIn photo they've ever seen. This is because I am a prim, humourless feminazi. However, I don't mind a good ogle myself. I'd ogle all day if I could. I can't, because otherwise I wouldn't have time to be annoyed at professional men objectifiying me. But when I'm not doing that, I'm always ogling. I ogle at men, women, cats, Danish pastries, taps, postboxes. There's no beating a good ogle.

I once ogled my mum. I commented on her Facebook photo saying she looked really nice, and she actually went to the Daily Mail and said, 'my daughter doesn't mind when people tell her she has the best LinkedIn photo they've ever seen, but then she goes on my Facebook and at ogles at me. That's right, she looks at me amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently. She's an incorrigible hypocrite and sex fiend and I wish I'd never given birth to her'.

daily mail

Thanks for ruining my career mum, Google is now littered with articles about what a Feminazi ogler I am. But I don't mind because if I want to ogle, you can't stop me. This is the 21st Century, I've got the vote and I've got rights.

Obviously, I am joking. I mean, I have looked at amorously, flirtatiously and impertinently at both men and Danish pastries, I'm only human. But there's obviously quite a big difference between Charlotte Proudman commenting on her friends' Facebook photos, and Alexander Carter-Silk going on LinkedIn telling women who want to be considered for their professional skills and experience that they look stunning.

We still live in a world where women are underrepresented in leadership positions, are paid less than men, and frequently experience sexual harassment. And this wonkiness will never sort itself out if women continue to be made to feel like their looks play a part in their success.

When it comes down to it, Alexander Carter-Silk's message amounted to nothing more than posh catcalling. What a woman looks like should have nothing to do with how competent she is considered in her profession, or what opportunities she will be given to progress in her career. Endorse our brains as much as you like, but please leave our profile photos out of it.