When we're single we're made to feel as if a good relationship is something we're really missing out on in life. It's as if society is slowly prodding us towards wanting to a life that includes "the one", a house, car, 2.3 kids and camping holidays in just about any location that's accessible via Stansted Airport. For a lot of people that's the end goal, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it and I totally get that.
So, why is that when we're single, it's ok for us to bang on about all the things we miss when we were in a relationship? Things like "oh, I wish I just had someone to cuddle up on the sofa and watch Game of Thrones with" or "I miss having someone I can always take to weddings". But, if we're in a relationship there seems to be some sort of unwritten rule of not being allowed to talk about the things we miss from our old single life. Is it because we might hurt our partner if it's interpreted differently? Is it because we're supposed to be thankful for finally having someone who doesn't find us incredibly annoying?
Look, I'm in a relationship. A good one. I lie, a great one. We're on the same page with almost everything. Neither of us want to live together, get married, have kids, a mortgage, joint bank accounts or a cat named Whiskers. We definitely don't see each other everyday and our lives certainly don't revolve around each other. Oh, and if you're wondering - we've been together for almost a year and a half to put things in perspective.
But, I miss so many aspects of my single life! Of course I do. It's like moving to a new city or country and being incredibly happy...... Though, you're obviously going to miss certain things about where you used to live.
Hold on. Before you start throwing tomatoes and screaming "boooooooo" at the screen thinking I'm a typical male - there are certain things that my girlfriend misses too. We don't want to breakup, we're both very happy together and we have an incredible balance.... It's just that we're human. And realistic. The grass isn't necessarily greener, it just merely has some green patches.
Anyway, we spoke openly and honestly about some of the things we miss about being single and here's what came up.
1. The Promiscuity
Come on, I had to start here. And it's not necessarily just sleeping around, it's also just knowing that you can.
2. The Variety
Let's be honest, not every day is an adventure..... The day-to-day stuff can sometimes become a bit monotonous regardless of how much we love the other person.
3. We Spend Less Time With Friends
There's nothing stopping me from seeing my friends, but naturally, you are going to spend less time with them now that you have "another half".
4. Not Having to "Check-in"
Again, I'm not really obligated to let my girlfriend know where I am every second of the day, but of course I care about her enough to let her know what I'm up to.
5. Lack of Hassle To Get Married
When I was single, there was no serious prod from anyone to get married in the near future as everyone knows meeting the right person takes time. Now, I don't think a week goes by where someone doesn't ask me "so, when are you going to pop the question?" Pfffffffffff.
6. Not Having To Go To The Weddings Of People I Don't Know
Also insert, christenings and birthdays. In the big scheme of things, it's no biggie, but when it takes up my whole weekend after a long week at work, I just wish I had a choice.
7. Spending Money On Whatever I Want
It never got questioned. If I wanted to buy that insanely expensive coat - I could, without anyone saying "do you really need it?" as I'm headed to the register.
8. Not Having To Wait In Front of Top Shop on Oxford Street
I never realised how many of us boyfriends are left to just scroll around on our phones as our 'other half" tells us she'll just be "five minutes".
9. Partying
No more body-shots on the bar.
10. Guilt-Free Flirting
Sure, we can all still flirt..... But then we get a guilty conscience.... And eventually have to tell the person we're flirting with that we have a partner.
11. Laying Around In Your Pants All Day
I still do.... I just don't tell her I was in my pants all day.
12. Not Having To Spend Time With People I Don't Get On With
In an ideal world all our partner's friends would be great. They're not. There is always the occasional douche bag that you have to smile and nod with from time to time. It happens.
13. Going to the Gym Guilt-Free
Fitness has always been a big part of my lifestyle and sometimes I look forward to going all day..... Until five when I get a call saying "I'm getting off early, let's catch up". If I even think about prioritising the gym - I'm in for ear-full.
14. Food
I always have to make sure I have food around. Gone are the days when I could wait until I literally had nothing but half a tub of mayonaise staring at me in the fridge before I did a shop.
15. My Own Bed
I love "starfishing" in bed. Just spreading out and being able to roll all over the place and not be kicked or farted on.
16. Sunday Morning Sleep-ins
I don't get them all to myself anymore.
17. Holidays
You now have to devote a chunk of holiday time to your partner. No more solo four week backpacking trips around India
18. Compromising
"Of course, I'd much prefer to watch Chalet Girl instead of Predator, honey".