Despite online dating fast becoming the quickest way to score yourself a date, I'm of the rather old-fashioned school of thought that chatting to a guy face to face is still the most 'romantic' way to meet. When I say meeting face to face, I obviously mean getting blind drunk in a bar on a Friday night and going home with a number. As lovely as the idea of bumping into your one true love in the supermarket or at an art gallery is, the reality of it happening are minimal. When I'm in the supermarket I'm usually buying my weekly supply of Sauvignon Blanc and cat litter - not so sexy - and you are more likely to find me in a pub than an art gallery on a Sunday afternoon, despite my best intentions.
So as we were, when out and about on a Friday night there are certain rules a girl would be well advised to follow in order to secure herself a snog at the end of the night. Good lighting, Rohypnol and 7 sambucas being my preferred short cuts as I get older, or for those of you young enough to still be bothered to put some genuine effort in, the following.
Hunt in threes.
A group of three is a good number when it comes to pulling hot guys. Two being too 'intimate', men will be reluctant to interrupt a conversation between two women, presuming they are talking about something scary like periods or their next breast cancer awareness charity run. More than three is too over-whelming. Not only are there more women to laugh at them when they are rejected, but the option of offering to buy a drink goes out the window. 'Yes please, three white wines, a gin and tonic and four rum and cokes.' is never an answer a man wants to hear to the question 'Fancy a drink?'.
Look like you're on the pull.
Make a bit of an effort. I'll be the first to admit that, as the winter months draw in, I need to be surgically removed from my Uggs but, when it comes to a night on the pull, it's heels or the highway. Making an effort on a night out won't just make you feel more confident but will also send out the message that you are available. That's not to suggest that a person in a relationship can't make an effort too, just that stripping it down to the basics, you are trying to attract a partner not nipping to the newsagents for a packet of fags ... throw on a bit of lippy and leave the sensible shoes at home.
Sit at the bar.
You've got to be in it to win it and your chances of pulling are greatly increased if you position yourself amongst the crowd. Married people like a comfortable table in the corner, single people stand - make it clear which 'corner' you are in. Being in the thick of it not only means you are in closer proximity to hot guys but you are also unlikely to be in deep, man-repellent conversations about periods (see above). You are there to socialise and network, behave as such. 'But my feet hurt cause you made me wear heels!' Zip it sista, the competition is fierce and your time is running out. What would you rather a blister or a life of cats and masturbation? Think about the big picture.
Men do not approach two women deep in conversation sitting in the corner of a room.
Make eye contact.
A sure fire way of letting your prey know you are interested in them. By which I don't mean enter him involuntarily into a 'who blinks first' competition but just hold his gaze for a few seconds more than feels comfortable. Then look away and totally ignore him. Sounds complicated and a little like an audience with Uri Geller but trust me, it works every time. If he's not interested in you he'll either ignore your advances or call the mental health unit to have you sectioned, if he is interested in you then you've done the ground work and can look forward to a night of hot sex in literally, the blink of an eye.
Ask a question.
Approaching a guy is even scarier than looking at him (yikes, human contact - give me back my Uggs and my Match.com subscription!) However, the night is brief and fortune favours the brave. Referring back to my previous point, being in close proximity to your intended will make conversation easier and being nearby means that a casual question or comment comes across as far less stalker-y than walking across a crowded room to interrupt hot guy's conversation to ask him if he has a girlfriend. (Don't do that. Ever.)
Asking a casual question 'Do you know what time this bar is open until?' is unthreatening and an easy way to strike up a conversation. Do not ask where the loos are because saying 'I'm bursting!!' will only make him think of you with your knickers around your ankles (and not in a good way) and do not tell him you've come over because your friends dared you. You are not twelve.
When it comes to pulling on a night out, the key word is confidence. Look sharp, sit at the bar, keep your pack to a minimum and remember, when it comes to a conversation, you won't know until you try.
Failing that Rohypnol can be bought online and is most effective when mixed with hard spirits ... that didn't come from me.