16/05/2014 07:52 BST | Updated 16/07/2014 06:59 BST

'Beards Are Immoral' Claims Moscow

Russian officials have banned a parade of bearded men and women due to take place on 27 May in Moscow because 'beards are immoral'.

On Thursday, a representative of Moscow's Security Department informed the people with beards that their parade could not take place citing concerns that it could provoke clashes between them and their good, cleanly shaven opponents. He later added that it was the Security Department's responsibility to 'respect morality in the education of the younger generation.'

The bearded citizens will appeal the decision but are unlikely to reap success. In 2012 Beard Rights parades were banned in Moscow by the City's top Court for 100 years on the basis that 'most Moscovites think beards are disgusting and 100 is a nice, round number.'

The controversy comes as Europe voted for Conchita Wurst, who has a beard, as their winner at this year's Eurovision song contest. Vitaly Milonov, who led the charge for Russia's anti-beard propaganda laws said: "The participation of the bearded Wurst on the same stage as Russian singers on live television is blatant propaganda and evidence of spiritual decay." Belarus pointed to Russia on the map and added: 'What she said.'

Russian hatred of beards apparently comes from on-high. President Vladimir Putin, who has never been seen with any stubble, finds all beards foul and unsanitary but is particularly disdaining of the 'Old Dutch' style which is known to tickle.

Asked if he thought he should be shaven into oblivion, a beard said: 'Baby, I was born this way.'