I have an urge to write when I am triggered by something that angers me. Last weekend, after a hard exercise session, over a congratulatory coffee in the cafe for surviving the hour, I had a conversation that left me with a sense of disquiet all week. The conversation was, in a nutshell, that ADHD was not up to the teachers to manage but the parents. The other party to this conversation, a teacher, stated that ADHD would not exist if she were their parent, and "why can't the young people just organise themselves or the parents take responsibility and do it for them."
I did declare my interest in this area, in that I have a son with amongst other things, a very high level of ADHD. I suggested that she read my book on the subject, 'Loving Eric'. I was annoyed and yet I wondered why I let myself get drawn into a defence of ADHD individuals and their parents, why I let my anger simmer. I explained that ADHD did exist, and that, as a parent you can organise your child's bag, but this does not mean that they necessarily arrive at school with it or even leave the house with it! Living with a child with ADHD was not just having them for a lesson but lasted all day, night, weekends and holidays..it is at times thoroughly exhausting!!!
In my role as a counsellor I have often been in the therapy room with individuals who have ADHD (undiagnosed or not). The experience can be uncomfortable. The energy can be transmitted from their body onto mine. I am normally calm, but after 30 minutes with a young person with ADHD in a small room, I feel frantic and fidgety. My brain feels busy, I feel the urge to move. This, I can only assume, is a snapshot of how they must feel at school.
The school system keeps on asking these young people to do what they are unable to do. They must sit still, not fidget, not talk, concentrate, be organised, be on time. One young man described lessons as feeling as if they went on for several hours, knowing that this was not true, but he had no sense of time. When I asked him what he was good at he seemed amazed, because school for him and many others like him, is just a process of having his failings highlighted.
Why are these children not helped more? They are all too often singled out as the 'naughty children' ; always sent out of class, in trouble , excluded because the system that educates our young cannot adapt to help them. Why is medication sometimes refused? Well, the medications prescribed are often stimulants, many amphetamine based. The young person can worry about losing their identity, the parents about the child's health. Before and during usage the heart of the individual has to be checked, blood pressure, weight ,height monitored because the appetite can be suppressed, the heart amongst other things, affected i.e "palpitations, tachycardia, vascular disorders" can occur in 1 - 10% of people (1). Ritalin is a controlled drug and Japan even prohibits entry with it (2) . So why on earth would you want your child to take it? Initially, I really didn't. But I am so glad now that I did, because it has made such a massive difference in enabling my son to access education by maintaining concentration and focus.
Another trigger for writing this blog, was hearing a talk by Jessica McCabe called "Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story." I was moved to tears by her. The analogy she used for describing living with ADHD, is one that I shall remember. She said it was like having 30 television channels in her head, at the same time but that someone else has the remote control.
I hope that people can be more curious about why young people do what they do. Asking an individual why they do things in a non judgemental way can help us to walk in their shoes and understand life form their perspective. This then informs us about how to assist rather than punish. I challenge anyone to sit and really talk to these individuals, in a small room and not feel the energy emanating from them. Hopefully this will then make more people ask the question, 'How can we help?' They cannot adapt sufficiently to calm their brains without help, but surely we can change the environment for them with a bit of imaginative thinking. And another thing... stop blaming the parents!! Blame simply means that we fail to act within our sphere of influence.
References
https://www.drugs.com/sfx/methylphenidate-side-effects.html
https://www.osac.gov/pages/ContentReportDetails.aspx?cid=17386