Are you thinking about becoming a student nurse? Maybe you're a reader of my student nurse blog wondering why we do what we do. Because there are secrets about nursing school that no open day will talk about...
Hole-y Moley, it's open season
On my first day of placement, I was asked to provide personal hygiene to a bay of patients. This means cleaning from literal head to literal toe. Bums, boobs, willies and balls, students get up close and (not too) personal from day one. As a student, never, ever be known as the person who's too posh to wash. If you feel like personal care isn't your thing, go to medical school. Trust me, you've not seen genuine horror on someone's face like a junior doctor being asked to assist a patient after the enema they prescribed.
Criticism is vital
Just because you feel like you're 'only a student nurse' doesn't mean you can't be critical of others' work. If we just took everything ever published as doctrine, we would still be shoving beef stock up people's bums if they were grieving. I mean, this actual advice was actually published in the British Medical Journal, which even today is well respected. It took someone to say 'Hang on, do you think this is the best way to treat someone's grief? Could there be another way that doesn't involve broth and an orifice?' Remember this: You are never just a nurse. Doctors get things wrong. All. The. Time. Have the confidence to say 'mate, that just doesn't seem right' if you think it doesn't seem right.
'You're becoming a nurse? WHY?!'
I've heard this from family, friends, and random people who've asked what I do. You see the look of horror on their face as you explain you're a student nurse. Everything will be presented to you. 'But you know you'll see dead people?' 'Don't you want to make proper money?' 'Why on EARTH would you want to HELP PEOPLE, you SELFLESS CARING idiot?' Always remember your reasons for becoming a nurse, and never let someone else's negative perceptions of the profession undermine your joy.
Patients will tell you EVERYTHING
They see the tunic and the badge and to them, you're as qualified as the consultant who just ordered their spinal surgery. As that's the case, you'll hear life stories, regrets, and everything else borne out of the fear they may not get better. Even a priest at confession doesn't have a patch on a student nurse's inside information. Because oftentimes, you're the only person they open up to. Sometimes, patients will reveal more secrets to students than your mentor. Treasure that privilege.
Nurses can be bullies
There are bullies in every walk of life, and sadly there are bullies in nursing. But never let their failings as a decent person affect your passion and drive to succeed. Nurses who are jaded and bored with their job sometimes take it out on fresh-faced students rather than actually deal with their own shortcomings. If things get awful, then use your union and university to ensure your learning isn't compromised. And most of all, feel sad that someone acts in such a way. Clearly they're unhappy, yet so mindlessly bone idle they won't fix their own issues like an actual adult.
Say goodbye to your gag reflex
Your lunch will involve discussing mushy stools and whether that infected leg smells like necrosis or a simple ulcerous infection. You'll know what a UTI wee smells like, and what rotting flesh looks like. Vomit will remind you to get your slow cooker out as you really fancy a stew for dinner tomorrow, and Type 7 stools will have you a-hankering for Nutella on toast. Don't be surprised if someone on the next table asks you to change the subject before they projectile vomit all over the cafe walls.
People will be ridiculously proud of you
For every bitter, jaded, unhappy nurse who says you're making a mistake entering the profession, for every random member of the public who looks down on your decision, for every family member who doesn't understand how you can cope with the gruesome reality of nursing, there will be a myriad of people who will be so, so proud of what you're learning. They'll ask your advice - and actually take it seriously - when they feel unwell. They'll introduce you as 'our nurse' rather than 'our daughter/cousin/friend'. They'll respect you and be so happy that you're becoming a competent professional. They'll love how much you progress, and beam at your dedication. They'll make you feel like it's worth it, that you're just brilliant. And you'll feel so proud. And so you should, too.