Now, I LOVE music and am extremely open minded when it comes to beats, rhythm and bass. My iPhone proves it, containing a wide and eclectic mix of rap, hip-hop, dubstep, pop, classics, indie, classical and rock from every era. But when it comes to hip-hop I can't help thinking all the work the suffragettes slogged their guts out for is being swiftly and odiously unravelled. Now I have to point out that I am a huge Drake fan and think Kanye is a lyrical genius, however there is a good sized portion of small-minded, unintelligent rappers implying 'you women are here to look good and have sex with us', just as worrying to me is the fact that THE WOMEN ARE SINGING ALONG! Ladies and gentlemen, please read the folowing lyrics and think before lip syncing and grinding to them in 'da club'.
BETTER WITH THE LIGHTS OFF - New Boyz ft Chris (have people forgotten WOMAN BEATER?!) Brown
"shawty, I hope you don't take this the wrong way...but you look better with the lights off, lights off"
Now, in everyday life it's always a worry when a sentence (directed at you) begins with "I hope you don't take this the wrong way but", "No offence but" or "I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic/a woman-hating-kitten-strangling-coldplay-loving-phsycotic-axe-murderer but"......you know it's a sentence destined to leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. If you have something negative to say and are unable to abide by the age old adage of 'nothing nice to say, say nothing at all', then please go forth and do it unapologetically. I've heard some pretty awful ones. A man (that is a very generous use of word for this being) I had the unfortunate experience of entering into conversation with too often than is healthy, began some chilling sentences with "I'm not racist/homophobic but" and went on to end them in the most pre-historic, backward and ignorant ways possible. However, this Chris Brown line never fails to render me speechless (which is a highly irregular occurrence). HOW exactly could you receive a bloke telling you that he thinks you look better as pitch black darkness the RIGHT way?!?! I'm not being funny, but....(pun intended) who exactly sat in the studio with Chris Brown after all the drama surrounding his beating of ex girlfriend, and went "Yeah man, these lyrics about just wanting to f*** a girl and preferring not to see her face is hella sick dawg". Well, yes, s.nizzy/p.gizzy/c.zizaay or whatever the hell your name is, you got one thing right they are totally sick, just like the photos of Rihanna's face after Chris Brown abused her. Ergh. But then again, the backwards producers probably empathised with Brown not wanting to see the bloodied nose and bruised face of his beloved. Ergh x 10. The song even goes on to charmingly say, 'You gotta deadline cos you need me done' Now calm down girls, don't all swoon at once. I mean who could resist a line like that? Errrrm, let me see, EVERYONE WITH A FUCKING BRAIN OR OUNCE OF SELF RESPECT. But this last one really takes the biscuit and I have nothing other to say on it but AAHAHAHAHAHA.
"Obama your work clothes girl, make a change"
SEXY CHICK - David Guetta and Akon
"I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful"
Erm, if you having to try that hard Akon, rather than burst what few brain cells you possess, you might like to perhaps consider the possibility that, as it's proving so difficult a task, maybe you don't like her as much as you first thought and should conclude to say nothing? But being an arrogant prick, that may prove testing, so here are some alternative options for you to mull over.
A) Go back to school, work on your vocab. That means like 'words and shit'.
B) Hit up a feminist group meeting and I'm sure they'll give you a few alternative phrases.
C) Just fast forward time a bit, hand yourself in and do time for whatever crime you are bound to commit due to your clear hatred and lack of respect for the opposite sex.
"Have to stop what I'm doing so I can pull her close"
Oh no Akon! You have to stop what you're doing, how irritating for you, my heart bleeds.
"Damn, you'se a sexy bitch"
I don't know about you ladies, but I can safely say that I, for one, can think up just a few slightly more preferable ways in which I would like to be described. I genuinely can not fathom how we have got to the point where women (and men) will happily sing along to this utter codswallop. Do they not feel offended or are they just as brain dead as Akon and co? Oh, and I don't think I speak only for myself when I say that I don't mind a bloke with just the tiniest bit of grammar knowledge, a nice range of vocab aswell as non-sexist chat up lines. Goodness, us women are just so demanding these days.
This post originally appeared on Lily's bloghere