The Blog

No More Bad Boys. Why We All Need Someone Nice


I once went out with a shady sort, who gave me sleepless nights. When things were good, he was great fun, and he loved spending money on me - but they weren't always presents I would've wanted! Once he gave me a fur coat that cost thousands - it was bloody awful! Aside from feeling sick about the animals who'd died, I looked like Marlene off Only Fools and Horses! I was glad when we split up, so I didn't have to wear the bloody thing!

But I'm not the only one who's dated a wrong 'un. Recent research from dating app Badoo has found that 45% of Brits admit we've dated someone shady, and 39% of us have got ourselves into these relationships knowing it would end in heartache. Most people say they do it because it's exciting and unpredictable - and it's true! It is exciting. It can be a thrill, but ultimately, it's more trouble than it's worth. Not knowing whether you're coming or going starts to lose its appeal - it actually gets quite boring!

Luckily, most of us learn from our mistakes, as 66% of singles say they'll never date a wrong 'un again. As a matchmaker, this is something I hear from my clients - once they're fed up of being given the run around, they're ready to meet someone who'll treat them right.

One of my clients fell pregnant by a bad boy, and it was all roses for the first month of the pregnancy - then he was up to his old tricks again! While she was at home with swollen feet and a foetus kicking at her ever-bigger-belly, he was out all night with other women.

Eventually she chucked him, and focussed on herself and the baby. After taking time out, she was ready to date again and I knew just who to introduce her to - Richard. He was the sort of guy she might not have noticed before, but he had exactly the qualities she was now ready to appreciate.

They're now in a relationship together, and she describes Richard as her soulmate. She says she never would've gone for him before, but after being treated so badly, she's chuffed to meet someone so lovely. She's never been happier!

I believe we meet every person for a reason. Sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's bad, but whatever the reason, we need to learn from every experience, and try not to hold onto the pain or upset it may have caused. Be thankful for everything - we're all here to learn life's lessons, and as the saying goes, as one door closes, another one opens!

So stay positive, as there is hope for you all nice people, that nice guys (and girls!) don't finish last! And I'm not the only one who thinks so. The study shows that nearly half of Brits don't think you can ever be 'too nice' on a first date. So this proves the dating scene is on the up - let's all get rid of the wrong 'uns and find the happy, fulfilling relationships we deserve!

A sought after Dating coach, I have appeared on ITV This Morning, TLC, Channel 5 & BBC Radio Cumbria.

I specialise in helping high net individuals to find their ideal partner through my unique approach.