Oh what has she got?! I am laughing at myself this morning as I think about my own relationship with myself. It is the same relationship for millions of women all over the world, but it wasn't until last night when I was doing some positive talk affirmations techniques with a sports psychologist that I realised the utter importance of positive talk to little old me.
This week, has been a funny one. Three friends on three separate occasions and in three very different conversations all spoke about the same thing- when discussing cravings and how they need to cut back on the sugar. I have well documented my love/hate relationship with bread, I love it and it does not however love me! As soon as I cut it out, I lead a much healthier lifestyle as my sugar cravings disappear and I feel great, so why then do I sometimes forget all this and chow down on this little demon. I am not even a very bad offender, I don't even like white bread, I love the healthy brown seeded spelt loaf, but even this is a no go. (Let it go Lisa, let it go!)
The last two weeks I felt that amazing feeling of being quite uncomfortable in my body, you know when you tell yourself you have put on seven stone, not one but seven (dramatic) and I know so many others are in the same boat as this. I meet people they tell me I look great, I don't take it in really and instantly tell them no, no, no sure I have put on seven stone (mentally at least) The mental weight we carry around about ourselves is far worse than the physical for our positive and a healthy self image. I am constantly working on this, but know I need to do more.
This week at Crossfit, we had a buddy workout which included piggy backs up a very steep hill, eight times, you carried your partner four times and he/she four times. I had not a care in the world about carrying anyone else, no matter who it was I would get up that hill, I would be determined as hell to achieve that. But as a woman, I had the sweet Jesus moment and had to wonder- will anyone be able to carry me (especially now with this seven stone weight gain!!!) The quick panic around that and then I just thought Lisa, cop on and get involved. I did and it was so tough but great and it's always great to work as a team, to motivate, to encourage and to get across the line together.
As I write this, I am tucking into gluten free porridge and drinking a hot water and lemon as I do most mornings, I think about what I am going to rock out in today. I have white jeans, its summer (somewhere you know) and white jeans are an item that will never date and are effortlessly stylish. Everyone loves white jeans, women aspire to look good in them and men are like oooh white jeans, it's bizarre. But the white jean is my key wardrobe staple to gage where my body is at and more importantly where my mind is at in relation to my body. We all have measures, some scientific, some physical and alot mental. I know I am not alone in the wardrobe measure on how you look and feel.
There is always that one pair of pants, that will always fit and that one dress that never really fitted but after a good flu or vomiting bug will look incredible on you for the 1 day you can sustain that weight before you must eat or drink water.
I work on my body every day and was always aware of the mind body connection, but something has clicked this week, a trigger from my childhood that has really prompted me to do even more work on my mind and my own relationship and attitude about myself. This will be a work in progress but one that all of us must do.
Now for today, as a first step, I think I put on those white jeans....