OK, first of all - take a shower you dirty Bertie. Might as well start from basics. Fresh start - just like uncle-Daddy said. Now, have a break - you've done really well to get this far.
OK - you're probably dry now. If not, towel down in the last few nooks and crannies. Heaven knows - you don't want to get eczema again.
OK, and now for the fun part - ACCESSORIZING! Choose a hat which goes with a top. Now discard them. Matching is so 2009. You are 2000-&-mine. Which means; it's anything goes so long as it's hot pink. Or just hot.
That's right - the latest fashion is warm clothes. Mixed with.... you've guessed it - ATTITUDE. The best thing you can wear is your heart on your sleeve. Or at least a heart print somewhere, or something that says 'accessible, friendly and likes pets.' That's pets not pests guys. BIG DIFF (difference).
OK, and now for the shoes! Now the shoes are the biggest mission statement ever. They say: 'Yes I have two legs and I am going to use them in a fashion savvy way'. You wouldn't have an oven and not put a pot on it - so don't leave the house with no shoes on. Gives the wrong impression. When Aretha Louise Franklin (born March 25, 1942) sung 'Respect'- thats what she was hinting at.
Only once have I left the house with no shoes, but that was a bit-of-a-case-of 'bigger fish to fry at the time - no time for shoes.'
My friend Melanie says "shoes are for loose-rs" but that's Melanie. She is a total fuckwit - and I don't mind saying that, because it's very unlikely she'll read this. She's off with Michael & Co. on a beach in India. Best place for her with no shoes you might think? But think about it a little bit more and you will remember that sand is hot some of the time on these Indian beaches. Not my problem. I'm writing a blog.
And last time I checked, this wasn't a blog about Melanie not investing in a pair of sandals. On we tread.
Fashions.
Fashions are like names, it has to suit you and some might be out of favour, but they all come back round. This applies more, I guess, if your name is Trousers. Like Justin Timberlake - who I believe's middle name is 'trousers' - so it definitely works there!
Keep up the appearances guys.
x