13/03/2017 09:40 GMT | Updated 14/03/2018 05:12 GMT

We Are Conditioned Both Deliberately And Accidentally Throughout Life

As we go through life we learn a vast amount of things, and we start from the very moment we are born (some say before we are born, and they may well be right).

We are conditioned deliberately in some cases, and accidentally in others. Deliberate conditioning often comes from our parents/guardians, from religious leaders, from teachers, group leaders such as Akela in scouts, Brown Owl in Brownies etc.

We learn how to eat our food, when to eat our food. How to sleep and when to sleep. We learn the boundaries we must adhere to in school, such as when playtime is, where we have to sit to do our work, what work we have to do, when we can talk and when we must be quiet.

Brownies are conditioned to learn new skills to gain the badges that are liberally sewn on to their sashes, and likewise with cubs and scouts.

We are conditioned to go to bed at certain times, to get up at certain times, to be seen and not heard, to not answer back, to not talk when the adults are talking, to do our homework, to put others first and a million other things too.

We can be conditioned by relatives, partners, children and many other sources to behave in a particular way. Some of those ways are for our own safety and some of them are for control of you. You have to decide which is which.

Accidental conditioning can come from anywhere. For instance, a young couple got married and the new wife decided to cook a Sunday roast. She got her leg of lamb from the butcher and broke the top part of the leg bone and put it in a roasting tin. Her new husband asked her why she broke the bone and the new wife replied 'that's what my mum always does'.

A few weeks later the newly weds went to the new wife's mum's house for Sunday dinner. The mum had got lamb and she got the joint and broke the top part of the bone and put it in the roasting tin. Her son-in-law asked her why she did that and she replied 'that's what my mum always does'.

A few months down the line and the newly weds go to Grandma's for Sunday lunch. The new husband tells Grandma about his wife and her mother breaking the bone of the leg of lamb and explained how they said they did it because Grandma always does it. Grandma laughed and said 'Oh, do they still do that? I only did that because I didn't have a roasting tin big enough', and she laughed. She had accidentally conditioned her daughter who in turn had accidentally conditioned her daughter.

Think about the conditioning you have had throughout your life. Is it still relevant now? Do you have to do things in the same way or can you change the way you do some things? Do you want to change things or are you happy with the way they are?