11/11/2013 06:37 GMT | Updated 23/01/2014 10:53 GMT

News Punch: Honey, Crack and Super Mario

News Punch has changed and now covers the week in lunacy. And where more appropriate a place to start than with Facebook?

This week the Uber-Spy website came under the spotlight over it's choice to track the mouse movements of its users.

Facebook is tracking your points and clicks...

@BadScentsHumour: research suggests the best place to place an ad, is on the funny cats arse.

Richard Dawkins has shocked the pop world by re-recording a hit by Jessie J...


Photo credit: Matti Á. / / CC BY-SA

Captioned by @squellwalsh

Now it's time for

Bleeding Obvious News:

A study shows immigration is actually worthwhile...

@Matt_Seccull: ...Roma do occasionally have blonde children.

@benjaminpmoore: ...if only to annoy Teresa May.

Gareth Malone was making waves on Twitter on account of his ginger beard. News Punch had a caption lined up but the photograph was not blog legal so here's a gingerbread man.


Photo credit: pareeerica / / CC BY-NC

The winner incidentally is @BadScentsHumour.

More spying news this week. It was revealed that the UK has a secret listening post in Germany. Or as News Punch likes to put it:

UK spooks caught out listening to Berlin...

@BadScentsHumour: ...trying to discover the secret to making a mildly acceptable beer.

@I_Am_Lukem: ...reports suggest that it, "took their breath away".

@havetogether: ...Officials recommend listening to Europe instead.

However, GCHQ claim...

@Matt_Seccull: ...they were, 'just trying to discover Merkel's famous Wiener recipe and anyway we won the war didn't we?!'

(credits also to @AnneMac10, @Matt_Seccull and @PommieKnight for making the Berlin connection)


Photo credit: Rocco Rossi / / CC BY

Caption by @Matt_Seccull

Technology news now and this week video games, much maligned for their detrimental health effects, have been vindicated by German researchers.

German boffins claim video games enlarge your brain...

@BadScentsHumour:... and also your arse.

@GI1970:... but shrink your Bratwurst.

@FemmeDomestique:... Men who spend time with their partners prefer to have their penises grow larger.

And now, a word from our sponsors.


Photo credit: hawken king / / CC BY

Caption by @BadScentsHumour

More News Punch next week.

*Some tweets have been edited. Original tweets can be viewed by clicking on the @ names.