I stroll down Cowgate in Edinburgh and as I watch the posters get torn down from the venue I played in, I suddenly feel a stab of sadness.
Most comics have left the Fringe to go back home and collapse with exhaustion, but I decide to have one last day here alone to evaluate my experience and think about my somewhat dramatic life.
27 days have passed but in the alcoholic bubble of the Edinburgh festival, it feels like I've been here for over a year. People from London have become hazy faces in my mind, feeling planets away. But as I realise this crazy time has to come to an end, I look forward to seeing the familiar faces again.
My debut solo show was called Chaos and Order. And those poignant words have summed up this festival perfectly. With gossip, scandals, rumours, affairs, antics and adventures, all running parallel with the daily routine of the alarm being set every morning and a show to perform at the same time every day.
Within the first week, Id received a 4 star review and press interest, endless compliments on my work and a few phone numbers thrown into my donation bucket. I felt like Spider man, (if you saw my show, you will understand this reference) I felt invincible! But I soon came crashing back down to the cobbled streets with a 1 star review which hit me hard. Ouch. But then I felt a little better when I realised that even the best comics get good and bad reviews, and all I need to do is drown the words away with a few shots of tequila. 27 of them to be exact. The days of drinking 5 cans of Red bull before a gig are a thing of the past!
However, I'm ashamed to admit, in my three filthy weeks of chaos and order; I consumed 42 burgers, 22 pot noodles and 12 pizzas....As well as the 72 units of Morgan spice and endless cocktails which caused me the throw up a neon yellow substance. I'm not proud of this confession, and my body is looking forward to a few boring hours on the cross trainer back at home.
Home... there's no place like home right? I feel a mixture of apprehension and wonder when I think of what's to come in London. Jobs to find, gigs to book, jokes to write, things to do , people to see, books to read, comics to see. Networking, emailing, filming, sleeping... the list is endless.
I do worry that as soon as I step back into my bedroom later tonight, back in the big smoke, Ill be wondering if this experience has been nothing but a lucid dream. A vivid photograph in my mind filled with a mixture of all the emotions we all felt together. But then I'll be reminded of the reality from all the drunken funny photos of Facebook. Oh how I regret owning a camera at times. So until next year, goodbye Edinburgh festival.