adpating-to-parenthood

Here I was sat looking a mess, feeling so awful that I shouted really loudly at you, forcefully taking your arm, and not playing with you. How did we get to this point? I never wanted to be the mother that shouted back at my gorgeous handsome boy and cry in front of you but it's happened and I'm worried it won't be the last time.
Now that he is two we have been invited to his playmates' parties and they have been fun. If I start organising parties for him now, as an Event Organiser I have to go all out. It won't be cheap, it will be over the top and I'm not sure I will know when to stop. Then next year I will have to top that and so it goes on.