Now that legal repercussions are out the window, The Don of Bunga Bunga is surely already brandishing his pleasure pump in preparation for a grandiose public celebration of wrist aerobics.
Why is this basic consideration for other people so lacking? For me, an Englishman abroad, it's bizarre. I'm pretty sure that door construction is fairly uniform throughout Western Europe. Even in Palermo, doors boast the technical wizardry known as 'door knobs' or 'handles.'
Perhaps I'm being naive but I can no longer accept that things have to be the way they are now, that clobbering the poor and vulnerable is a rational answer to mending our future. We can do things another way, and in time I'm sure we will.
Like millions of other lonely souls, I recently joined Tinder to try and spark up my non-existent love-life. Romantically, I'm sure it would probably be better if I was to meet someone organically, but hey ho, to Tinder I go.
A couple of weeks ago I applied for a job as a writer for an online journal. I was asked to submit some writing samples and then write 50 words about my favourite magazine. That last bit really bugged me, but hey ho. This is what I wrote.
In life, when you move out of your 30s, you assume you've reached that stage in life where you're pretty much settled in
With sessions still on-going at the Home Affairs Select Committee on Drugs, I thought I'd write a few words before they get round to publishing. Words are important. Labels are important. And it's my view that labelling drug addiction as a 'disease' is dangerous and wrong.
I write in quite a bizarre way - back when I had my first book in mind I would write maybe 10,000 words in a weekend and then spend weeks unable to add a single word.
Internet porn and a more liberal media have made us increasingly aware of those people with extraordinary sexual kinks or fetishes, but these people have always been among us. Warning: This blog post contains adult content and graphic images.
When I heard that Noel Gallagher was to receive this year's NME Godlike Genius Award, I thought, sod what I think, ask the mate; man of the people and all that. Alex wiped himself down, took yet another sip of tea and replied, "He's written some cracking tunes....but genius? He ain't there yet!"
I'm going through a break-up. I left The Ex about a month ago now, and it's all been very complicated. In past relationship breakdowns, I've been able to get up, walk away, and never look back. But this time, it's different. This time there's baggage...a small dog called Teddy.
Some of you may know me as the guy who presented the Sin Cities shows on Bravo...raunchy, gonzo-style documentary series about sex and pornography where I would travel around the world interviewing porn stars and investigating (and sometimes taking part in) odd sexual fetishes.