As a Brit living in the United States, I have an up-close but outsider's view of their presidential campaign. What started as a ridiculous joke has become a serious, stark and terrifying reality - Donald Trump COULD be president of the United States, and seemingly no one can hear the little boy shouting that the emperor has no clothes on.
Winning an Oscar does bring that box-office boost and for the winners it means that Important People will take your call. Box-office hits are rarely nominees, and much less often winners. Frankly, Hollywood seems to be making Marvel movies but awarding great stories which don't get bums on seats in the same way.
Even without pageant experience as suggested by said stranger, I managed to compose a reply all by myself and without any help from a penis. I also didn't mention the appalling apostrophe use in his own message, which I can only put down to his own inexperience - presumable ill-equipped after never being judged semi-naked on stage.
The next day I returned to the radio station I worked for, LBC 97.3, where I hosted their Friday evening phone-in. Ten years later, I can remember that programme more vividly than any I've presented in my 20-year broadcasting career.
I want to celebrate my birthday in the manner I've always celebrated by birthdays. Dancing in a nightclub until I can't feel my feet for two days. I know. I'm 'supposed' to have grown out of that aren't I? So that's the rub: Act young and you might get thought tragic. Act older and it's - well - it's boring.
After one year of living in Los Angeles, here I was - back visiting London for 2 weeks. Home. I was noticing things I'd never noticed before. No, not just noticing, but in their comforting familiarity I found them to be exquisite.
As we weaved our way out of Los Angeles Billy Joel sang, "Say goodbye to Hollywood" and we did. Miley bounced us along with "Party in the USA" and Robbie Williams sang about the Mandaley Bay Hotel in "Me and My Monkey". We...were on our way to Las Vegas for the ultimate girlie weekend.
Kent is South East of London, so Stuart - by all means head north of Kent...but when you start to get the overwhelming waft......of fake tan and your socks feel a little soggy...that's the Thames, separating Kent from Essex. If you see any of the cast of TOWIE then you've gone too far.
Every week still it seems that I hear that something new will "kill the radio star". Spotify will kill off radio, Pandora streaming will kill off radio, Nick Grimshaw will kill off radio. It won't. Technologies change, but radio isn't a piece of technology. It has a soul, it's a connection... it's my friend.
Earlier this month, when I moved from London to Los Angeles I had to pack up my entire house and make a choice - either ship it or skip it.