Stuck is a word that often gets talked about by people who approach coaches and therapists like me. It's a big problem and heck, I often feel stuck in aspects of my life too - it's a chronic human condition. Luckily there's much that can be done. If you're feeling it, or have ever felt it, read on!
For many of us, the arrival of summer means excitedly counting the days until we down tools and set up the out-of-office before we head off to warmer shores for a fortnight in the sun. For those with a flying phobia, however, that dream holiday can become a nightmare plagued with anxiety and fear.
Last year I jumped out of a plane. It was my biggest fear, and became my biggest thrill because, sitting three miles up with my feet dangling over the edge, I wasn't scared. At all. Nothing of what I feared about that moment came true. And I realised that it was never a fear of dying that had kept me from jumping, it was a fear of what people would think of me if I chickened out.
You can't negotiate with success. You either do what it requires, or it goes to someone else. Usually that's the person who doesn't care that they're tired, who starts earlier or works later, who turns off the TV, who sacrifices 'me time', who finds a way around every obstacle.
My question to you today is, If you were to go through the stories that have made up your experience, what genre would you classify each of them as and is that classification helpful to you?
What it doesn't see, is that while there may be dragons in the uncharted territory, so might there be lands filled with riches and opportunities. For the brave and the bold, those riches and opportunities are there for the taking, and with the right resources the dragons are there to be slain.
I have been feeling a little disconnected of late. I'm self-employed, and as many people who work for themselves will understand, that can be quite isolating. Not being one to sit around wallowing in self-pity, I decided to create a collaborative events and coaching company with a friend.
I believe in the ability - the inevitability in fact - of people to change. Our brains are learning all the time. Learning, analysing, making sense, incorporating the new learning, creating new beliefs and thoughts then causing new behaviours.
Do you ever stop to question what you believe? Do you ever ask yourself why you believe it, or where that belief came from in the first place? Have you ever considered that it may be your beliefs that are causing you to feel anxious, unwell or unsatisfied?
You are not the thinker of your thoughts (that would be the lizard brain), you're the one who hears them. You're the one that's left when all the shitty thoughts about yourself that have been learned (incorrectly) along the way because of the life experiences your brain has been exposed to are stripped away.