After seven days of sun, sea, sand, yoga, massage, sauna, "mild juices", clear broth and water-based irrigation, I hope to emerge looking considerably less like someone who has spent the last two years bouncing like a pinball between rage, fear and anxiety.
I was going to have gallons of water pumped into my colon, using a tube inserted into my rectum. In doing so 26 years of bum gunk would be disturbed and then flow out of my arse, down a transparent tube which would RUN PAST MY HEAD, like some sort of faecal Generation Game.