I think back to when I was fifteen and developing major crushes on older, unattainable men wherever I went. I never acted on them, but I think the targets of my devotion must have been only too aware that there was a young girl mooning around after them, hanging on their every word.
I felt for the poor little guy; he had come on the promise of an afternoon of Lego creation and jumping off furniture with his Ninja Turtle compadre, and found himself squarely in the crosshairs of my daughter's affection. It was painful to watch. No, it was heart breaking to watch.
When you like a guy and he is unavailable and already committed to some other girl, it can get really frustrating and quite disheartening. In your dizziest day-dreams, your mind can go down a slightly dark and twisty route thinking of ways to eliminate said girlfriend.
A quick flick through most people's dating history will throw up some pretty questionable individuals. So when we asked readers
"Excuse me?" he says, in an accent I immediately recognise as French. By stopping, I've already excused him, I guess, so I don't reply. He goes on: "Are you gay?" I'm confused... Why would he be asking? Is he a homo or a homophobe? Is he going to kiss me or punch me on the nose?
Commuting is a dull, necessary evil only a few of us can avoid. Usually, I work from home, the full journey from bed to office via bathroom taking around 90 seconds. But, on landing myself a new contract in a suburb of London, I am to rejoin the rat race I'd so fondly missed.
So how bad of a Twitter crush whore are you? Well I have calculated five different scientific levels that you may be in right now. Judge for yourself.