Edinburgh Fringe comedy

The Edinburgh Fringe is almost upon us and for performers it's essentially a month long Glastonbury. Four weeks of drinking, shouting over music, standing in the rain, crying over reviews oh and performing your show, does take it's toll.
I have also performed on a cruise for nudists, at a strip club in-between strippers, at a gathering of Hasidic Jews, at a nursing home/hospice, and a little people convention. Then there was that time I cut my arm open with a running chainsaw during a sold out show and had to be rushed to the emergency room. Oh! And also that time I broke both of my feet at the exact same time after jumping down from a 12-foot unicycle.
I hate that it makes me cry. I am a cab home. Shaking with anger, the cabbie asks if I am ok. I hope that he assumes I am drunk. I am not. I have just finished my 4th gig of the day. It's been a good day at the Edinburgh Festival. That is, until now.
Today the world's biggest art festival hits Edinburgh's gardens and closes for three weeks! The city's population doubles in size as people from all over the world flock to the streets and the various festival venues. The streets are filled with performances and exhibitions, actors arrive at bars in their outfits post performance and bars and clubs are open late - 3 am and 5 am.
When it's your first time at the Fringe you truly believe you'll be discovered. And maybe you will be. But even if you aren't, even if you end up exhausted, un-reviewed, soaked and sockless, performing at Edinburgh will probably be one of the landmark events of your life.
It's time for the world's largest arts festival, and once you've ignored all the lesser art forms (theatre, music, puppetry, dance, mime, writing - ugh!), you'll want some comedy. These ten acts are the funniest and most promising of the new comedy crop, as judged by their relative lack of fame, oodles of talent and grinding, desperate poverty.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not championing for the world to be set on fire so we can start over. But it does feel like the world is at a crossroads, doesn't it? May be the world wants to date other people?
When it comes to comedians, a lot of people think it's just a case of penning some jokes and telling them to people. Turns out there's a lot more to it than that.
Until someone actually invents the Time-Turner from Harry Potter or even the time-stopping watch from Bernard's Watch, choosing what to see at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe is always going to be a bit of a headache.
I'm here in Edinburgh again for the annual festival and as ever it's a marathon, so this time I'm heeding the words a fellow comedian gave me just last week: drink less, sleep more. The fact that I spotted that fellow comedian falling out of a pub yesterday just after midnight - completely arseholed of course - is neither here nor there.