first time mom

Overnight I became a woman, who went to bed but never slept, anxious with one ear open, listening for any sudden change in breathing. Constantly checking she was still breathing, when unsure I would poke her, instantly regretting it when she cried; only to repeat it all again later.
So when the senior doctor came in and explained that the cyst was benign and was most likely caused by Endometriosis, he shone a light and made me see that I had a problem. My brief outburst had brought up feelings that I didn't realise I still had.
Looking back, I wish I had known these things to help make me feel "normal" instead of having people tell me to stop and give up because I wasn't giving my baby what he needed when in fact he put on lots of weight very quickly and is a healthy and happy baby!
At first, you think that you are the problem. That you're new to this world and they know best. After all, they're the ones who have been working in this office for many years.
During a brief stint teaching, my shoes were captured and held to ransom by students. I don't remember the detail of their