getting old

And recently, aged thirty-nine I had a bit of a panic when a random blood sugar level test came back abnormally high. My life flashed before me again (yes, I am over dramatic when it comes to my health, did I not mention that?) and I spent hours crying over what I had done to my body by comfort eating and binge drinking over the years
By 2039 more than 1 in 12 people will be 80 or over. This is a considerable segment of the population - yet markets, high
I used to be able to do simple things like get out of bed in a morning. Previously, the alarm would sound and I'd wake up, turn it off, get showered and leave the house. That's a skill that's deserted me; either I need to snooze six times to be able to face the day or my body hurts for no reason whatsoever.
I take another glance at the unwarranted queue at the bar and breathe a heavy sigh at the thought of queuing twenty minutes for a bog standard lager served in a plastic cup. And then, it happens. I reach into my pocket and remove the packet of fruit flavoured ant-acid tablets.
Aging is about saying goodbye and a reminder of the ephemeral nature of life. Botox and plastic surgery are the favoured companions of many these days but they appeal to our fear of life and by inference, death. It is a sad indictment of our society that we do not value older people or the process of aging.
One thing I really will never recover from is the realization that I am an adult as in a grown up person. I never thought this would happen. I only realized when one day I was called 'ma'am' instead of 'miss'.
For many women one of the pleasures of ageing is that it frees them from the need to continually monitor and police their appearance. What a relief: bring on the elasticated waistbands and sensible shoes, they cry! But if 50 is the new 30, 60 the new 40, etc etc, they're doomed to eternal self-scrutiny. How to look hot at 100? The very prospect gives them a migraine.
I actually think we can choose our age. We can be as childlike as we want or as 'grown up'. We can play whatever side of us we want to. Society has conditioned us to think if we are young we are free and when we get old we become tied down.