guilt

Ask yourself whether your guilt nudges your behaviour in the right direction or if it's on repeat for no apparent reason? To borrow a quote from writer/philosopher Aldous Huxley: "...rolling in muck is not the best way to get clean".
What do we feel guilty about? A wide range of topics appearently. From not sticking with a healthy diet plan to not calling friends and family often enough (that's me). Leaving a pet at home (me again - I know, pathetic, but I so do), or having a whole weekend in your PJs.
Making peace with another or in the world - we all talk about it. But are you at peace or at war with yourself? Do you know and do you care? Does it matter?
Nearly nine years ago I was induced and gave birth to my son. Then he turned three. That's all I remember. I missed three years. I remember parts, but I couldn't tell you what his first words were, when he first rolled over, what his favourite food was, or what we did together.
Here I am again, once more in the terrible situation of having to decide whether or not to euthanize one of my beloved animals. This time it's one of my cats. He was born on my porch, his little feral mother having decided that I looked like I'd provide them with a suitable home.
The guilt started on day four.  Weeping, a heart that literally hurt with pain.  As I put the bottle of formula to my beautiful new baby's lips I felt overcome with regret.  But not for the reason you think.
I believe as parents we are programmed to feel more guilt towards our children, it's important so we can love and raise our precious creations well. So, although it can be positive, the 'mum guilt' I have experienced in the past and still sometimes do now is RIDICULOUS.
This probably seems more like a rant than a reasonable, balanced blog post. I've tried to keep it from becoming a stream of consciousness, but it's hard when you're angry. Three years ago, having people tell me how lucky I am was probably the least useful piece of advice I ever received.
My second baby reaches the 8-week mark this week and I can't believe how much faster it's gone this time round. Although I feel a bit guilty saying this, I'm enjoying having a baby so much more this time round.
I had gotten to the point where the only days I enjoyed, were the days my children were at nursery. On those days, I'd feel a prickle of dread about having to go and collect them at the end of the day. I'd scramble around on the other days in between, desperately trying to get my mum, my brother, my dad, anyone, to come over, so that I didn't have to be alone with them.