Hope

To all of you who are feeling pretty rubbish at the moment because everyone seems to be succeeding and progressing, and you feel like a sad, stuck, blob... I want to remind you how wonderful you are. Continuing to wake up every day despite all the setbacks you encounter is so brave. It's so admirable.
Eventually, in time, we will find glimmers of hope again. We will find cracks of light. We will begin find things to believe in, and our little pile of good things will grow. We might find them in the most unexpected of places - a podcast that speaks to us, the ability to read a page of text, or the joy of being able to taste a cup of tea again. It might take weeks, it might take months, it might even take years, but it will happen.
The city of of Manchester is reeling. Broken. Bleeding. Hurting. Weeping. Grieving. Asking why. Why us? Why our children
To argue our point and to grow as a nation. We have a lot to be proud of and at our core we absolutely have far more that should unite us than divide us if our democracy and core freedoms are taken into account.
I would often seek solace in a bottle of alcohol, use various other methods to steal me from the toxic home environment I found myself in or simply try and end my life.
I tried to tell a friend for comfort and she told me I was a potential danger to her child so needed to stay away. I was devastated. I did not know what to say and simply withdrew further into my mental anguish, staying away from everyone like a shamed hermit. Silenced again by another person's opinion which I valued dearly at the time.
They say all suicides are preventable by speaking out - reaching out. Having the confidence to open up about what you're going through is clearly the hardest thing for so many people to do as they fear the reactions of the loved ones towards them.
As a 13 years old teenager my family fell apart after a very violent divorce. Our house was repossessed and at times we had no money for food. I would raid the bins for bottles to help feed my younger sisters.
Never underestimate the impact just being there listening to someone can make a huge difference... Sometimes we all need to feel there is someone there to support us in a time of vulnerability without fear of judgement or stigma.
I think this is something that new mums fear especially if they have a previous bout of mental illness. I've spoken to many ladies who have felt this way and some who actually went through postpartum psychosis.