Life After Divorce
I consider myself a feminist. I consider myself to live in a world where things are certainly not equal for women, but being white, married, middle class, heterosexual and reasonably solvent meant that I did not experience the injustice so many women do on a daily basis.
The thing about opinions is, everyone has one. Even next doors cat had the opinion that he had the right to shit in my son's
The thing about dating in your late thirties is, after a poorly needed rebound fling, my thoughts were in need of something else.
So, as I write this, two years in to being a full-time dad, I am as determined as ever to provide the best upbringing for my child, and through Dads Unlimited to boost the chances for other children like him by support, care and understanding for this growing population of single dads.
A divorce party is a great way to mark your new beginning. However, it's important to make sure that you have the right intentions behind it. If done in the right way it will be a positive and rewarding experience. If done in the wrong way, the downside is that it can increase bitterness, hurt and leave you feeling even worse about your break-up.
With Brexit dominating the general election campaign, politicians of all colours need. to explain how they will tackle a divorce bill that's much closer to home: the £48 billion annual cost to the UK economy of family breakdown.
Divorce is often referred to as the second most traumatic life experience after death of a loved one. It can rock the strongest of people to the core and turn your whole life upside down. So, it is hardly surprising that it can lead to mental health issues if the negative emotions and sudden challenges you find yourself having to cope with are not dealt with properly.
Just upping and leaving the country with your children without an agreement will more than likely land you in court and you could well be ordered by the judge to take them back. Even if you eventually win the battle, it's an expensive and upsetting experience (particularly for the children themselves) that most of us would rather avoid.
Next month sees the annual pageant of the Palace of Westminster's State Opening of Parliament. Alongside the traditional regal razzamatazz comes the Queen's announcement of a list of the government's plans for new laws.
Brexit is the divorce on everyone's lips. It seems to be the only thing on Ministers' and policy-makers' minds too. It's fair to say that almost all government decisions now and for some time to come will be influenced by the UK's split from the European Union.
Divorce sounds pretty final doesn't it? But for some couples that is not the end of the story. There have been a few high profile divorce cases recently where the court has ruled that divorce payments must increase, despite the fact that the couples divorced many years earlier and their children are grown up.
I fought for ages about seeking professional help. My defense was "I'm fine!". On reflection, the early days of the split were when I needed help the most, over 4 years on I believe that this lack of professional help in the early stages has impacted on how I deal with my emotions now. Go get help and don't be embarrassed about it!
Your world has been flipped upside down.You feel completely out of control and the sadness and agony is probably like nothing you have ever experienced. What makes this situation more difficult is the fact that it's not just two people who have split, it's a family.
Usually the decree absolute marks the end of my work with my divorce clients, however, recently I have been getting back in touch with some of them to find out how they are getting on now. With them all I have found they are in a much better place in their lives
Family law firms always see a sharp rise in clients in the New Year. In fact the first working Monday of the year is known
Parents have to find a way to discuss these and other parentings issues and protect their children from acrimony and avoidable hurt and loss. Mediation creates a safe and neutral place for these conversations to take place. Furthermore, the mediator is highly trained and experienced in facilitating their much needed conversations and can help with formulating new boundaries and ways of communicating and planning that work.
Last week a woman said something to me that stopped me in my tracks. It had occurred within the context of a conversation we were having about the death of my husband last year when she asked me how I was coping. I explained that I was getting back on my feet. It was then she said,
The enormity of divorce scares me to the core every time. Every time I meet someone who is lonely after divorce, or speaks about the effects of divorce or even see it on a soap opera, the challenges divorce presents shocks every time.
Don't ever give up on love. One thing I believe to be true is that, life is ALWAYS conspiring on our behalf, and I have absolutely no regrets in any of it, no matter how hard it got (and boy did it get hard!!). Keep the faith, keep looking ahead and allow your heart to soften, and your dreams to blossom. Don't let life toughen you too much, often when there is a heartbreak it can be a blessing in disguise to allow an even better match in to your life.
Millions of TV viewers are currently seeing a glimpse of a hidden, private side of divorce, as BBC Two's 'Mr v Mrs: Call The Mediator' lifts the lid on separated couples trying to sort future arrangements.