Regret is one of the most painful feelings any of us can experience. It hurts because regret is, more often than not, based on our own choices and not external events. We can't fix it in retrospect and it's hard to know what the catalyst will be. As Kurt Vonnegut put it, the saddest words anyone can say are 'It might have been.'
It makes a difference if you pay attention to yourself and start choosing to let go, be more positive and be kinder to yourself (and others, of course).
Why would you want to watch videos that make you angry? Well because as humans we have a nasty little habit of enjoying the sensation of hate, anger, injustice - we love a good old fist shake and finger point. We love the blame game, and most of all we love to feel like we can't affect change.
Of course my life since then hasn't been a disaster, and you can't sift out and keep the good bits. I enjoyed my university education, despite being a long way from home and abjectly failing to make any friends. I'm happily married now, and I can't separate that from all the other choices that I've made.
Not all women. Most women totally rock. But some, quite frankly, need to chill the hell out. It seems that however you choose to live your life as a female of the species, it will never, ever be good enough for these women.
Women are not just unkind to themselves in this quest for perfection; they can also be extremely unkind to other women. This unkindness comes in many guises; in passive aggression; in bitching; in judgement; and in straight-up nastiness.
I really love to explore the different kinds of motivations that we all have for our choices in life. Many clients tell me that they have never thought about what the reasoning is behind the choices that they make in life, assuming that most people are motivated by the same things.
Maybe it is narcissistic to expect spiritual fulfilment from our jobs. Maybe any quarter-life 'crisis' is only ever a result of adolescent navel-gazing. Maybe we should all just shut up, get on with the task at hand, and learn to distinguish reality from impractical expectations. Or maybe we should question the cultural definition of success.
The reality is, whatever we are scared of and whatever the solution might be, we shouldn't force ourselves to do it and carry on regardless. Sometimes we need to look for alternatives or a way to discuss our fears and find somebody that is willing to help you resolve them.
A couple of weeks ago I saw that 'Dreams of a Life' was being shown on Channel 4. Directed by Carol Morley it tells the story of Joyce Vincent, a woman who died alone and lay undiscovered for three years.