Mothers And Daughters

As I think about my daughter, Eden, heading towards the school gates, I want to soak up the memories of the fun times we've had together. The cuddles, the days out, the stories and just being able to see her grow into the amazing little girl she is today.
So, I've purchased a (rather bright pink) Peppa Pig rucksack and filled it with spare clothes, wipes, a sunhat, some suncream
I have lost count of the number of times I have been waiting outside some music venue or another waiting for a concert to end and for either one or both of my daughters to come out. The O2, Shepherds Bush, North Finchley, Wembley, Twickenham, Hammersmith, the list goes on.
Did you know I have a six year old? I wouldn't blame you if you hadn't realised - my writing is so heavily dominated by the antics of my ToddlerMonster that my 'big' girl hardly gets a mention.
A study of 1,000 British women run by ActionAid showed that 54% of girls and women aged between 16-24 shy away from discussing their period entirely. Not only this, but 65% of women from a study ran by Eve Appeal say they even avoid saying the word 'vagina' entirely, and instead refer to phrases such as 'down there' - it's only a word after all, right?
As I turn 32 this Mother's Day I have come to the realise the impact and power of my mother in my life and how her actions influence and inspire me on a daily basis. It is not the words she has spoken but what she did and how she lives her life that I remember and draw strength from.
New family. It's not what you lay in bed dreaming of when you were small and imaging how your life might be as a grown up. You don't ever really want to end up sharing your own children's weekends with another woman (or man) only linked to you by virtue of the fact that your former love has ceased to be yours and is now theirs.  But that is how it is now.
But if I can make it through all the other days in the year without my mum then why is this one random Sunday any different? Mother's Day is just another day on the calendar isn't it? But somehow, it's not. For me, there are three main reasons why it's such a difficult time of year:
I have noticed some strange quirks in my behaviour over the last few years, which I think have dated from having children, and which have now become too obvious to ignore or to laugh off as a coincidence. I am doing things that my mother does now, and things that she did when she was raising us in the 1980's and 90's.
My daughter stood on my scales last night and I admit; my heart broke a little. At two years old she knew what she needed to do to weigh herself. Like most behaviours it was learnt, and it was learnt from me.