Mummy

The days will come and they will go, some days will be tough. When baby is ill, when your friends that are still on maternity meet up without you, you will feel a sense of loss, but most days will just come and go.
Sharing my pregnancy news with my friends was exciting but being the first one to take the plunge was scary. Like Christopher Columbus with boobs, I found myself venturing into uncharted waters. Having no idea what to expect or even the faintest idea how to change a nappy it came as a sigh of relief when a work colleague suggested I try an NCT antenatal course.
Becoming a parent brings with it an absolute sackful of new emotions; some of which makes you feel on-top-of-the-world amazing and some just make you want to drown yourself in a bath of Cabernet Sauvignon.
I speak to these ladies everyday in some shape or form. We share our highs and lows without judgement.  They are my go to ladies with just about everything. There is always one of us there day or night to help celebrate or a shoulder to cry on or talk things over.
When we wake up you fill our bellies with organic cereal and fresh berries,  full of goodness. You sit there and drink coffee and grab a biscuit. You need to have goodness and be healthy too mummy.
As I sit here and look around I feel a sense of shame. Shame at the fact that I am clearly not the type of mother I wanted or hoped to be. I am tired, I am a mess and the never ending pile of things to do is overwhelming.
Now I understand the importance of a school uniform policy. I really do, but I think there has to be some flexibility with it too and more importantly some common sense on behalf of the teachers and school who help to enforce these policies.
They are also pretty intimidating at first though; walking into a room of strangers, fears of cliques and the fact you are transported back to an irrational school child fear that no one will like you
Looking back, I wish I had known these things to help make me feel "normal" instead of having people tell me to stop and give up because I wasn't giving my baby what he needed when in fact he put on lots of weight very quickly and is a healthy and happy baby!
Out of the single mums I do know, we are all hardworking professionals, some with mortgages, some privately renting and yes some in local authority buildings, but what strikes me with all of us and when I say us, I'm talking about from personal experience from those around me. What strikes me is the strength that we all have.