Open letter

It started as a guilty pleasure. A simple way to abdicate intellectual responsibility for an hour and look at attractive people talking about meaningless things, feeling smug about how great London looks and bathing in the extended idea that ALL our lives could actually be TV-ready with just a bit more editing and a more committed use of Instagram.
Trust me, I totally understand a lady's right to a little wink wink, nudge nudge. Sex, in a nutshell. It's just, normally, I like to at least know a person's name before I get a good look at their nethers.
I wish you knew the pain you've put me through the last 26 years. The suicide attempts I once made on my life. The memories that haunt me. How I spent many years believing I was worthless. How I still hear your voice in my head sometimes telling me that I'm stupid.
Even when others would bemoan their iPhones, I'd stick up for you; yes I'd complain but who doesn't? On the whole I was happy. I have to accept that there were times I was noncahlant over the years; took you for granted. You were dropped many times and left battered & bruised and for that I apologise.
Dear Mr. Dinsmore, Am I being naïve to suppose that you will read this letter or that it will matter at all to you? Probably. Considering that 135,708 people have signed a petition asking you to do away with the daily degradation in your newspaper that is Page 3 and still you have not responded, I very much doubt that this one letter will make you change your mind. But I'm going to try.
An open letter was posted online today from controversial embezzling dragon, Smaug, to acclaimed actor, Benedict Cumberbatch
With phones so hard to come by and email all but redundant, given that only the intended recipient gets to see it and not half of Twitter, the open letter is the old friend to the exhibitionist, and I am honoured to be writing one right now, to you, knowing the huge effect it will absolutely not have in any way at all. Zero.
Is it just me or is anyone else fed up of being mithered, either about gay marriage, or by obnoxious chuggers?