parenthood

I get it - sometimes you get so consumed with what you have to do every day to keep the house running, everyone fed, all bills paid, partner happy, clothes washed....that you begin to feel that there are absolutely no minutes left in the day to squeeze some "mum love" time in.
When we fell pregnant it obviously opened us up to having some raw and honest conversations. For example... what sort of parents did we want to be? How would we raise our daughter? What was really important to us? What values did we want to instil in this tiny human we would be responsible for crafting?
When you are nearing the 40 week mark and desperately praying for your small human to start the evacuation process... there is nothing that feels glamorous about being swollen, tired and stretched.
Sometimes I imagine my cancer as a stationmaster. A faceless man striding up and down the platform, checking his watch and blowing his whistle before The Last Train For Survival inches away.
Immediately after announcing a pregnancy or giving birth, after the obligatory oohs and aahs and coos have been inflicted, there will inevitably come the slew of unwanted advice ... from every person you've ever known.
We were back to St Mary's in Manchester last week for a follow up after my operation in August to remove an ectopic pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. We'd been feeling very nervous and filled with dread about going because it was such a difficult operation and recovery.
18 months is feeling like a huuuge deal to me. As of Friday, the 15th September, my boy is halfway to his 2nd birthday. It's
Honestly, I say I wouldn't change Oliver for the world. It's something all parents say isn't it? Regardless of whether your child has additional needs or not.  But I would change him.  I'd change him in a heartbeat. Does that make me a bad mum?  Does it make me selfish?  Quite possibly.  Most definitely.
As I found out before when I researched it, parenthood is not all cute babies and idyllic family photos as Facebook would have you believe. Indeed it seems like there is much more information and evidence around that it is really hard.
I spent so long getting excited about what life was going to be like with my new little sproglet. Oh the adventures we were going to have and memories we were going to make. But, it didn't go to plan and there's absolutely nothing I could do about it.  I realised, that what I had spent months and months planning, was in fact, nothing but an attractive infatuation.