I have raised my voice far too often, and felt guilty for as long as it takes one of them to empty the clean clothes all over the floor AGAIN. I have put so much pressure on myself to make the most of the last month before my oldest starts full time school; struggling with the change to come whilst feeling overwhelmed with her being at home with me 24/7.
It's weird because I said when he was tiny that I'd never be a convenience food mum but Harry's forced my hand somewhat. Learning to be adaptable and going with the flow is a huge part of being parent to a toddler and as anyone in the same position will know, sometimes it's just about picking your battles and whatever gives everyone an easier life.
At first they are there for you but then they slowly fade away. They stop liking your social media posts or acknowledging your messages. You wonder what you've done wrong, you thought they were forever-friends but listen to me, you haven't done wrong. You just aren't convenient anymore.
This week I really want to write about something that is very misunderstood but very widespread. I've suffered with anxiety for a few years now, over half my life and was officially diagnosed after having Harry. I've always been a 'worrier' and an 'over thinker' but the thoughts became poisonous and consuming.
June was truly the worst month of our entire lives but started as the best. We had just found out we were expecting our second baby after only one month of trying. We were surprised but ecstatic. It was something we'd discussed for a while and felt that we were in a good enough place to handle another.
Why should romantic idealism and hard-to-keep promises hamper the making of human life after all?
I look back now at photos of my younger mum self (not just that hilarious post-birth picture) and, beneath the love and contentment, I can still feel how green I was. How unsure I was. I remember that first night at home with her like it was yesterday. 'What on earth do we do with her? Can we put her down, do you think?'.
On my first post I introduced myself as mummy to Baby M. It had become my identity and whilst it is still all I really want to be. It's no longer all I am. I am a school leader. And I'm a working mum. I am a mother that juggles two roles and tries to do her best.
It's all a bit embarrassing really isn't it? £1 billion. There's nothing like a bit of transparent corruption among friends
So, it's done. The long anticipated day has come and gone. I did it, I left my beautiful girl and went back to work. When