It occurred to me on Saturday, when I was happily driving home from town. I was glad to have had the couple of hours on a Saturday all to myself - even if it was doing chore-type stuff. I hadn't even felt a pang when passing The Gallery - a favourite café to go for a coffee. Good God! - how had it taken me so long to realise? I was just where they wanted me.
Last month I had to go and get my fingerprints taken. Unfortunately, the machine was struggling to read my prints. Apparently, this is quite common and the lady operating it suggested I put some hand-cream on as this makes it easier for the machine to scan the prints, as she gestured to my oversized handbag, fully expecting me to whip some out!
Life as a SAHM can be brilliant but it can also be monotonous and quite lonely. Playgroups are sometimes my saviour and often I want to go for me more than him, but some weeks I just want it to be him and me and then I feel guilty that I'm not entertaining him with other children.
Yes I have learnt a wealth of things about website creation, website hosting, domains, SEO, readability, passive voice (the bane of my life!), blog promotion, social media, scheduling and the thing every blogger stresses about, the almighty DA. These are things I didn't even know about before I became a blogger.
After working so hard to climb the social ladder, here I was sat in a 'dole' office asking for handouts because I had had the 'misfortune' of getting pregnant. With mounting debt and constant guilt about financial pressure on my partner, I lost all sense of self.
Have you ever heard someone say that they want to be 'just' a mum or a dad when they are an adult? If they have, I wonder what the reaction was? We are always expected to have another role. Mothers are now expected to go to work, have a career, and play a role financially even if a partner supports them.
As a child of a working mum, I always wondered about mothers who stayed at home. I was a bit jealous when my friends were picked up from school but then, I thought, why aren't their mothers doing something proper? I was sure I would never end up something as boring as a stay at home mum.
I have been doing quite a bit of work recently on issues regarding 'stay at home mums' or SAHM's as they endearingly like to be called, versus working mums, who like to be called productive. I am struck that no matter what the issue, no matter how inert or economically sound in its presentation, SAHMs and working mums will fight about it.