There's a lot to love about being single. Continually explaining why you are single, isn't one of those things. But when you regularly rock up to parties alone, you are apparently inviting your peers to pick at this particular scar, in public. Of course, we know the questions come from a caring place. But the truth is, we don't have any answers.
Often we expect too much from a partner when we ourselves haven't yet mastered these values. Frequently people think, when I find the "right" partner then I will be this way or that. How many people say they want trust in their relationship, yet the second, their partner does something that seems suspicious, they go through their partner's phone, look for evidence of cheating, or scream accusations at their partner?
I started to feel pressure. Pressure a lot of women feel in their 30s. I felt that I had to be like all my friends. I literally felt my biological clock ticking away loudly in the background. I'm pretty sure some of my boyfriends did too. I became obsessed with finding 'the one'.
The benefits of sologamy are numerous; I am definitely still in the honeymoon period. I take my commitment to myself seriously and see being single as a viable lifestyle choice.
As women who are not in relationships don't fit the paradigms of wife, mother, caregiver then we, as society, must mock them. Because thats what we do to people who don't fit in, we make them into a joke. Because thats the only way they can be understood.
Looking over what I'm saying, it makes it sound like I am just deeply selfish and unwilling to compromise. I can give you a few testimonials from people who love me that will tell you the opposite (hi mum!). I just feel that being alone should be everybody's default position and that needing company, at most, should be our secondary state of being.
It feels like we're expected to be crying into a pillow, stinking of Chardonnay, cat pee and desperation. (for the record I prefer Gin & smell expensive, darling). The biggest thing I've learned is that being single aged 36 is actually rather exciting, unpredictable and utterly refreshing! The sense of freedom is incredible.
I would like to call to the future Prime Minister to focus on the importance of this issue. In the next four years they could make a significant positive impact on the safety of our children, and enable industry to act responsibly but still thrive commercially.
I've spent the past 12 months doing every Groupon offer I could find: literally hundreds of absolutely bizarre activities. And here I outline five cheap, wacky alternatives to crying, slumped in the shower.
The very receptors that are sending signals to our brain subconsciously tell us whether we are wearing shoes or whether that hand is really pleasant to touch, or 'That skin is so soft, it brought back fond memories' or even as simple as 'He feels safe'.