I want to warn you, before you read any further, that this will not be your typical mum blog post. I won't be telling you some sarcastic, relatable story about a time that my kids did something aggravating, then toss in some "funny" so that you can walk away with the feeling that this is all normal, lighthearted stuff.
I don't know about you, but since I became pregnant with my first daughter I have had other people pass comment on my mothering skills. Whether it was doing too much or too little exercise whilst pregnant, or how I manage my child's tantrums now she's here, everyone has an opinion.
If we're to cope with and survive this stage of parenting (however long it lasts - please give me hope parents of four year olds) I feel like it is essential that we understand the tantrum process.
Even though we have a creepy old priest on speed dial just in case a full exorcism is required, by the time he arrives at the front door with bible and crucifix in hand, our little one has forgotten he was ever kicking off and is back to being a little angel, leaving us looking at him with a mixture of relief, confusion and mild terror.
I did plan on writing today but it wasn't going to be this post. This one has come completely out of the blue. Totally unplanned. They say it's best to write when you feel the emotion so here I am. Because not only am I emotional, I'm broken. It's not yet 2pm on a Saturday afternoon and my child has broken me. Well and truly broken me
My toddler is an arsehole and I am sorry. She's one of those two year olds commonly known as 'strong willed' and 'spirited'. I will agree with the strong willed part (if that child doesn't want to do something, God help you) but she's not 'spirited': She's an absolute shit.
You and your pint sized pal have had a lovely morning (well, you know... it's all relative). You feed your little companion, it's all smiles and hair flicks and Pinterest activities and THEN it's naptime.
So why do toddlers tantrum so much? Quite simply because their brains are incredibly immature. On top of an immature brain they also live in a confusing world and most importantly a world that they have no control of.
All kids have tantrums I get that, I also know a lot of adults who do it to be honest. The thing is with the Jam-Eater (my three-year-old daughter) is that she has a set repertoire of tantrums which only consists of five moves.
Toddler tantrums are no rare occurrence, but there's no doubt every tantrum is different... Here's the five levels of toddler rage every parent should know about: