The Gin Lane Gazette

"Every face can be reduced to a basic shape," Adrian Teal declares as he adjusts his square-rimmed glasses and begins drawing on the blank piece of paper before him. "Take, for example, this cube."
I don't know if Luigi had Mafia connections, but everyone in Sorrento seemed suspiciously well primed to do his bidding. He was a cheerful local police officer, who befriended my family when we visited Italy in the 1980s, and ferried us about in his faintly preposterous but fabulous squad car.
I offloaded some well-thumbed books on my local British Heart Foundation outlet recently, and the volunteers' relief that there wasn't a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey amongst my offerings was palpable. Charity shops in every corner of the realm are being inundated by used copies of E. L. James's spank-fest, it seems.
With Father's Day imminent, it seems a fitting moment to pay tribute to a sovereign with staggeringly fruitful loins. King