things to do before you die

When I'm old and lonely I don't want my life to read: He was born and then he died and not much happened in between! I want to make my son and family proud, I want to sit in my old chair and tell tales of triumph!
So, I came up with a few ideas of useless things you can add to your bucket list; should your health specialist give you the dreaded news that your life expectancy has now reached the same maximum as a supermarket pint of milk.