This probably seems more like a rant than a reasonable, balanced blog post. I've tried to keep it from becoming a stream of consciousness, but it's hard when you're angry. Three years ago, having people tell me how lucky I am was probably the least useful piece of advice I ever received.
I am interested in this dilemma as I personally have had the experience of this definition of the male abortion. I chose to continue with a pregnancy that my (at the time) partner did not want. He and his family severed all ties and physically distanced themselves. He had no experience of the pregnancy past the 10 week point, he is not on the birth certificate and has never made any contact with his biological son.
Almost a year ago today I found out I was pregnant. As you can tell from the title, my pregnancy was unplanned. VERY unplanned. I say 'very' with umph because in my heart of hearts I do not think I was ready...
In the first few months of my pregnancy I became almost convinced that I wasn't actually pregnant with a human baby...
How do you know you're really ready to be a parent? Is there a point in life where it clicks in your head and says "Yes, now you've ticked all the boxes so here you go, one child coming up!"? Or are we ever really ready for all the different things that come with being pregnant, giving birth and raising a child?
Christmas presents aren't the only thing women in their 30s and 40s may be receiving this year - according to a leading charity
We see women who have become pregnant not long after giving birth, not realising how quickly fertility returned, or after misinformation about the protection breastfeeding provides against pregnancy. Sadly we also see women who simply haven't been able to negotiate contraceptive use with a reluctant partner, as well as women for whom a much wanted pregnancy is no longer possible after a dramatic change in personal circumstances. A recently conducted audit of all women contacting bpas for advice in 2011 found nearly two thirds were using contraception, including condoms, pills, patches and coils, when they became pregnant.
Over lunch we discussed the concept of having a baby together. Our instincts seem to be in synch and the situation though scary, (we only met six months ago) for want of verb 'smelled' good.
I work for BPAS, the UK's largest abortion provider, talking to women about and performing abortions up to the legal limit every day. Someone has written that a woman wants an abortion like an animal stuck in a trap wants to chew its leg off. While the imagery is melodramatic, it conveys the panic and stress an unplanned pregnancy can impose. It also communicates something of the relief experienced by women after their abortion; this is one of the things that make being an abortion provider so very rewarding.