Just 18 short months ago my heart was breaking because it was looking like I would never be a mummy. Having spent years of loving my nieces and nephews and waiting my turn, I was facing the reality that I might not ever have a child of my own. I was sad and getting sadder.
I got in quite a flap the other day, and to be honest I had to have a word with myself! You see, these feelings are primarily me feeling sad for myself. There is of course a significant feeling of worry about how baby M will take to me not being around after nine months of a 24/7 relationship, but I know really she'll be fine.
So for those rolling their eyes and giving me the 'women shouldn't need to dress up to be heard' look - I disagree. Someone told me how they dressed down so clothes didn't get in the way of what they were trying to say. I think that's nonsense.
Look, I'm not completely stupid - I get it: all this online brutal honesty is reassuring to other mothers when they feel down and lonely. But it's also creating an unhealthy trend; a self-fulfilling prophecy of inadequacy and a false acceptance of low parenting standards.
Can you actually use a wriggling, crying baby as a piece of fitness equipment? And should you? They do a bit of sick on you at the best of times. It didn't seem like a brilliant idea to me, but I decided to find out.
We took our boy to his first music festival when he was just weeks old. He did his first camping festival at the age of three. It is now just after his 5th birthday and after our first festival of the year that it has come to my attention that some people frown upon taking children to festivals.
I get it - we like Bad Mum, she swears, she drinks, she reads her smartphone in the park while the kids face plant off the roundabout. On the surface that description does seem to fit my parenting style perfectly so you might imagine I'd be cheering Bad Mum on. But I'm not.
Last night, getting off the tube, I was accused by a group of drunk, loud-mouthed, relatively posh boys of being a 'yummy mummy'. I had heard them shout, "Welcome to middle England!" as the train pulled into the station, followed by, "I bet she's married to an advertising executive!" (wtf?)
You take your baby to the toilet because she cries / you cry if you put her down for a second. Crafty, manipulative baby feels afraid, primary source of life is gone! Your baby's evolutionary built in survival safety mechanism is working, hurrah! This is a good thing.
With a good friends baby shower just around the corner, I have been searching online for the perfect gift that since having 2 babies of my own, I truly believe will be useful to a new mum. So in no particular order, check out my tried and tested top gift ideas for stylish mums-to-be!