"I've never been one of the pretty girl's" said Olympic gold medalist Rebecca Adlington on a recent episode of the popular TV reality series I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.
The tension between her and Miss Universe GB Amy Willerton came about because of Rebecca's own insecure feelings about her looks and body image. Rebecca told Amy "my issue isn't with you it is with the industry. We are made to think that being a size 12 or 14 is not good."
Her reaction to how much pressure is put on us to look a certain way became overwhelming and she broke down in tears.
By allowing ourselves to focus on the negative this can send us into a spiral of unwanted thoughts that can drain us of our energy. Switching our thoughts to positive ones and happy memories can help us to feel so much better about ourselves.
Remembering what you have achieved and how that had an impact on your life like Rebecca's can help you reframe your negative thoughts.
How you perceive yourself and how others perceive you can also be completely different.
Tell yourself I am a beautiful woman or a devilishly gorgeous man! Self-talk is a powerful tool. Repeat positive affirmations regularly throughout your day and before you go to sleep.
In an extract from my book, "Fabulous Impact - Step into the New You and Rewrite you own Script ", I write about how much I admire Barbra Streisand. She is living proof that your personal features do not have to hold you back. I think she's beautiful. Personality and your individual qualities can more than compensate for any physical shortcomings that you feel you may have. Barbra arrived in Hollywood without having her nose fixed or her teeth capped. The film studios adored her.
We can often judge ourselves too harshly.
Whether you have a big nose, small nose, big bottom or small bottom, look at yourself and accept what qualities you have that you can use to your advantage because you are unique.
When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said out loud ' I feel and look fabulous today?' By telling yourself something positive it can change your perception.
You can choose to focus on negative feedback or choose to hear the positives. By having self-doubt and insecurity about yourself it can drain your energy, effect your moods and prevent you from getting on with your life and dreams.
If you get upset about how you look it is time to say 'STOP' and tell yourself 'Enough is Enough'.
If there is constant tension between you and another person take a step away from them. Feel good about who you are, what you have achieved, what you can do and what you are going to do. You are unique. Be it, believe it and love the person you are. Worrying about what someone else is like is wasting energy and time.
There are some people who sabotage how we feel, what we do and how successful we are. They are in fact reflecting their own insecurities. Tell yourself 'It's their issue not mine' and focus on feeling good about you.
Give yourself a mind makeover and remember what you have achieved.
By changing negative thoughts to admiration for others, this can help you feel happy for them and happier in yourself. Start focusing on you and stop comparing yourself with anyone else. Be inspired by them instead
One client I coached was a partner in a large beauty organisation. She hated how she looked and constantly compared herself with the new receptionist who was always dressed immaculately with perfect hair, make-up, nails and a huge smile on her face to welcome everyone.
My client had forgotten that she had hired the receptionist to make a good first impression which is exactly what she did. What my client didn't realise was that the receptionist really admired her. She also loved my client's straight hair and wished hers wasn't curly.
My client discovered this when the receptionist asked her if she could help her learn more about the beauty industry and told her how much she liked her hair and perfume. My client's perception of the receptionist changed and she was impressed with her positive attitude and her welcoming smile - the reason she hired her in the first place!
I worked with her on her own self-esteem, confidence and body image and after six weeks she had a huge shift in her attitude. She also put the receptionist on a staff beauty training course.
It is your choice to choose to change negative thoughts to positive ones. Make it happen and let your confidence shine through.
You can buy Nicci's book 'Fabulous Impact - Step Into The New You & Rewrite Your Own Script' from Amazon here