My Tiny Human turns One next week. My Tiny Human turns ONE next week. My Tiny Human turns ONE NEXT WEEK. HOLY SHIT MY TINY HUMAN TURNS ONE, NEXT BLOODY WEEK!
No matter how many times I tell myself this I just can't get my head around it. Crazy I know, as by the time the day arrives I will have had 365 of the damn things to get myself prepared for it. Not to mention she is my second Tiny Human to have her 1st b'day so I should know what to expect.
However, for some reason, my second child turning One has hit me full emotional throttle, knocked me sideways and left me reeling in a heady mix of excitement and down right blubbering wretchedness!
Apologies in advance for the age old cliches, but its all just gone too fast. I can't quite catch my breath at just how fast time has spun out of my control and raced ahead of me taking my little girl with it. I've blinked. Literally blinked, God damn it and she has gone from being a 2.4 kilo bundle of creases and milk scented kisses to a bundle of character and gorgeous toothy smiles and for the life of me I have no idea how it happened.
I therefore have a message for time or who ever the hell it is who has been speeding it up over the last twelve months - SLOW THE HELL DOWN! Take a breath. Step away from the clocks and just give us a moment will you! As I am just not ready!
I didn't feel like this when my eldest turned one. I was excited and also felt sick (namley due to being 2 months pregnant at the time). However, I did not have this feeling of dread and this feeling that its all happened too fast. That the last twelve months have raced by in a blur of family life, night feeds and juggling of children. This monumental first b'day has snuck up on me and landed on my doorstep about 6 months too early and left me shouting "How the hell are we here already?!"
The thing is, despite my best intentions to stick my head in the sand and pretend its not happening, it is and there are things to be done and items to get into place for the big day. My tick list has been written and is now all ticked off, apart from the last item on the list ordering me to "Get a grip and get on with it. Your daughter IS turning One, suck it up!" However, thats just the thing I don't want to just "suck it up" and get on with it. I instead want to turn the clocks back and relive the last 365 days (ok maybe not the really shitty ones where I was functioning more as a milk machine than anything else on just 2 hours sleep) but you know what I mean, I want to revisit all the key memories and just hold onto them and her in this moment of time, where she still has her baby creases and she still wants bedtime cuddles and her milk wrapped up in my arms after her bath.
I'm not a lunatic I know that her first b'day isn't going to arrive and then leave and take all these things with it, but her first b'day does mark the start of the next chapter of her little life and from experience I know that the changes that happen over the next year are going to be the ones that mould her into a toddler and she'll be a baby no more. I'm not too afraid to admit that this leaves me feeling happy and sad all at the same time. Therefore, I'm asking the world, the universe and its dog, for once, JUST ONCE to WAIT! Therefore, I've decided that if my wailing about it won't make the universe listen then maybe a heart-string pulling poem may do the trick! Here goes....
"The World can wait, the world can wait
I've nowhere to be and no chance to be late,
No schedule to run to, no washer to load,
No important meeting, or clothes to fold.
No outing, no class and no play date
You see, for once darling, the world can wait
...............................
If the world can turn, then the world can wait
For I've something more precious than life on my plate
Brighter than the universe and the milky way
I no longer need the sun to mark the start of my day
No rush, no hurry, no time-up to make
You see, for once darling the world can wait
...................................
The world can wait, the world can wait,
Stop all the clocks and hold time in its place,
Freeze that smile, that moment unplanned
Keep those little fingers in the palm of my hand
Cuddles, bath time and tiny dreams to make
You see, for once darling the world can wait
.......................................
If the world can turn, then the world can wait,
Masters of our little universe, our destiny ours to create,
I choose to slow down and share mine with you
To remember all the tiny things that you do,
Belly laughs and smiles that make my heart break
You see, for once darling the world can wait
.....................................
The world can wait, the world can wait,
"Us time" is the new commodity I cannot waste,
You see, this precious gift wont always be mine,
life will move on but, little darling thats fine
........................................
One day you wont turn and throw that gaze my way,
Your cry will no longer be what marks the start of my day,
Night time feeds and day long hugs will be no more,
No tiny toys or discarded food to clear from the floor,
No squidgy folds to behold and no hair to brush
So hold on world, I don't want to rush"
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