Over the years I have struggled with the way my body looks more than I care to admit. I grew up in a family that ranged from being a little bit over weight to morbidly obese, and with that came the negative body talk I was privvy to every day.
"You don't want to end up being fat like me!"
Well intentioned no doubt, but it didn't do much for my body confidence.
I was on my way to following suit at 21, but after a change in attitude towards food, I taught myself how to cook. I went from mainly eating processed junk to making my meals from scratch, and lost a ton of weight in the process. Not just that, I loved my new shape and the fact that I could fit into size 8-10 clothes.
Eating Well = Healthy Weight
I didn't have the perfect figure, but for the first time in my adult life, I was happy with it. My weight fluctuated a bit during the years I was travelling and living in Cambodia, and it plummeted just before coming home. Which is unsurprising given that I was existing mainly on iced coffee, vodka and electrolyte drinks.
By the time I left I weighed less than seven stone and could fit into children's clothing. I still wasn't quite a size zero though, so what does that say? Fortunately once I started eating properly again I got back to a healthier weight. Later that same year I had a mental breakdown, hit rock bottom and went through my life changing journey to liking myself. Two years later I fell pregnant with my eldest.
Changing Shape For Good
For such a small person (just under 5'2") I got huge in each of my three pregnancies, and put on between two and three stone. Although most of the weight came off a few months after giving birth, my body has changed shape forever.
Do you know what though? I'm comfortable with that. Sure I could do more exercise and tone up a bit. Hand on heart, yes I would like to shift the pesky last half stone, which has attached itself firmly to my thighs. Honestly though, it's not a priority right now with everything else I have going on in my life. Also, with my levels of sleep deprivation I am up against it to lose weight anyway, so why put myself through all the heartache?
I can honestly say that I stopped lusting after my 26 inch skinny jeans shortly after my eldest was born. Along with my pert 32DD's, because after breastfeeding her for a year (and subsequently her sister and brother) those puppies are long gone.
Proud Of My Imperfect Body
I'm proud of this body though. It has grown, given birth and fed three beautiful babies. I'm making a pact with myself to be kinder about it. Yes I have wobbly bits, but what thirty five year old woman doesn't?
I try really hard not to compare myself to other people, but sitting on the beach in Greece recently it was difficult. You know what I discovered? Not a single adult (mother or otherwise) had the 'perfect' body. They came in many shapes and sizes, and as long as the owner was smiling, they were all gorgeous.
How happy are you with your body?