This October, it will be 10 years since that fateful morning I discovered a crescent shaped bald spot behind each of my ears. I had no idea that day I was about to lose every hair on my body and that it would never grow back, as of yet.
As much as I'm used to being bald and love myself regardless, I still want to heal and grow my hair back. But can I heal myself?
I believe as long as you're alive, there is always a possibility to heal yourself. Your body is powerful and miraculous. I often times lose sight of it, which is the reason I'm scared to make yet another attempt at healing myself. I've tried several different things throughout the last decade without success.
However, more importantly, I've tried something - a plant-based, whole foods diet - that was working. The documentaries, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and Forks Over Knives, inspired me to heal myself with whole foods and within 3 weeks, I had the first spot of hair growing on my head in 7 years. That spot eventually grew into a large circle on the crown of my head that I dubbed my hair yamulke.
But here's my problem. I stopped the diet and within 6 months, it all fell out again. Being a bald woman, you would think I could stick to something that was working especially since I discovered that a meatless life was actually quite tasty. I had more energy, clear skin, and I even lost a little weight. Yet it felt inconvenient and slowly but surely, meat and dairy snuck back into my diet.
My behavior reminds me of a childhood friend that recently died of cancer. One of the last times I spoke to him, it was during my hair yamulke days and I told him enthusiastically about my recent success. As he sat there drinking a beer, I urged him to change his diet and stop drinking alcohol to give his body the best chance to finally heal itself.
But he told me he wanted to just live his life the way he wanted and whenever God took him, so be it. I never understood why drinking beer and eating barbeque was more important that even the mere possibility of getting more precious time with his two young daughters. But that was the choice he made and in some ways, that is the choice I'm making now.
So why do we actively choose to not do the things we know can help us live a healthier, happier life? Why am I not following this diet despite the success I was having? Because of resistance.
Every single one of us has a self image and once that self image becomes woven together with the struggle of illness, it becomes harder and harder to deviate from the disease. Our focus on our illness causes a mixed signal to our subconscious mind making us believe that the disease is actually the goal. So it actively seeks information and situations that will ensure our goal of being sick.
Suddenly, the things you were doing to actually make you healthy start losing appeal and you start feeling tired and hopeless. You tell yourself that everything you've been doing isn't working so you allow old habits to resurface and you unknowingly seek situations that keep you feeling sick. You won't listen to good advice. You take actions that work against you like missing your doctor's appointments or like myself, stopping the diet.
It's important to point out that resistance shows up as all the logical reasons why you can't do it. For instance, when I first started my business, I caught myself in my old habit of putting long hours in and cutting out nutritious food and exercise as if it's optional. It seemed logical to me that I'd need to focus all my energy in order to increase my chances of success so I couldn't spare the time to make a nutritious meal and exercise. But what I found is my hair falling out again negatively affected my focus and productivity more in the end.
So this is the next step I take to make a lasting change in my self image and consequently, move through my resistance and into achieving my goals. My clients have also successfully used this system to do the same and I'm going to use it now to once again commit to healing my body.
Once you notice the resistance rear its ugly head, you acknowledge it's presence. Most times we believe ignoring or denying it's presence will make it go away. However, the opposite is true. It only makes the resistance grow stronger until it is finally heard. Because resistance is a protection mechanism and the sirens won't stop until you acknowledge it.
Once you acknowledge that the resistance is there to protect you - to keep you safe in the land of knowns instead of trying new, possibly dangerous things - it will feel heard and let go of its tight grip. The best way to do this is literally talk to yourself. Be sure to thank it for protecting you and let it know that you have it covered from here. Repeat this step every time the resistance shows up and in time, it will dissipate.
In the next blog, I will show you the next step needed to move through resistance so you can finally achieve your health goals or any goal for that matter. In the meantime, be sure to follow this blog and do this first action step. I'd love to hear how this step made you feel in your comments too.