Find Your Emotional Resilience Superpower

26/07/2017 11:48 BST | Updated 26/07/2017 11:48 BST
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Trying to get pregnant or going through fertility treatment such as IVF can be exhausting emotionally. They call it an emotional roller-coaster for a reason. However it doesn't have to be. We have greater emotional resources and resilience than we think. What I learnt on our journey is that it was my future thinking that kept me on the roller-coaster.

I've just been watching three tiny fluffy fledgling sparrows hop around the garden squawking for their parents who are close by keeping a careful watch over them. They have been nesting in our eaves and we have been feeding the parents for the last couple of months. The fledglings think they are helpless. They haven't fully realised their innate capability to feed themselves or to fly. For days we watched a young blackbird furiously demand it's father feed it in-between gobbling up good for itself. Again it hadn't fully realised it's capability, thinking it still needed it's parent to survive.

We are the same. We have innate capabilities that give us superpowers than we often do not recognise.

We are born with innate superpowers such as clarity, peace of mind, resilience, connection, intuition/wisdom, creativity, direction. We have all the emotional resilience we need to cope with whatever the fertility journey throws up at us. It can be a journey of hope and pain, false hopes and crushing sadness. Our superpowers don't make us immune to this but they give us everything we need to cope, to get through it and know we will be OK. To know there is hope beyond the current experience.

Our superpowers get hidden by our habitual contaminated thinking that tells us stories of not being good enough, or worry what people think about us etc.

Superpower = Innate Capability - Contaminated Thinking

You don't need to work harder to access your superpowers, they are innate, you need to stop trying so hard.

Our superpowers show up in the moment, when we are in reality, not in the story of our thinking. Not through striving. When we are being, rather than over-thinking. They are innate, we don't need to whip ourselves up in to a frenzy to access them or steel ourselves to be OK. We don't need to rehearse in our mind over and over future circumstances or prepare ourselves for potential challenges. We are designed to live and thrive in reality.

What this means is that whatever happens you are going to be OK because your superpowers will show up when you need them.

Contaminated thinking is just that. Thought. It's not truth. It's not who you are. It's not your circumstances or your future. It's habitual thinking about you and life you've picked up long the way and you have a tendency to look at life through the lens of that thinking. It feels true. It presents itself as 'reality' but it's la la land. It's your imagination. Your perception of life created by this habitual thinking.

So how do you stop it? Fighting thought with thought is hard work and rarely works. The good news is you don't need to. The more you see it for what it is, contaminated thinking, it loses it's power. You don't need to give it a second thought. It calls you to listen to it, like an itch. But just like an rash is calling you to scratch it, it doesn't make it better, it makes it worse. It gives it more power.

You can't stop a thought coming in to your awareness, that's not the problem. We all have contaminated thinking. It's our relationship with it that makes the difference. It's whether we fall for the story it is telling us. The more you see it for what it is you can resist the urge to scratch the itch of thought and go on a journey with it (hence the term 'a train of thoughts').

You've got it covered, whatever it is, whenever it happens you're got what it takes to be OK. So come back to the here and now. That's where the magic in life happens! That's where your body is, that knows what is the best thing for you on this journey. That's where your innate wisdom is. That's also where you will find some peace and even happiness on your journey to getting pregnant.

Enjoy realising your innate superpowers!