03/07/2014 06:02 BST | Updated 01/09/2014 06:59 BST

The Effects of Cheating on the Person You Cheat On

Think before you cheat on someone. The outcome is never good. You hurt people along the way. If you think you are going to cheat, end the relationship you are in before you hurt them or better still realise what a great person you are with and just don't cheat.


You discover the person you have been developing a relationship with has cheated.

Sickness feeling

You are in shock and trying to take on-board what has happened and trying to understand it. You had spoken to your partner about how cheating would be a deal break and ending of the two of you being together and they say they would never do it to you.

The pain of betrayal and rejection is hard to take.

You cry, get angry, and wish it was not happening, you begin to hate this person that you had, less than 24 hours before hand you liked and was very fond of. The feeling of sick, physical sickness that the person you cared about, who said "I know you don't cheat. I don't cheat either. I am honest and trustworthy too." Months later whilst they are telling you they want to be with you, is caught cheating. You discover that the cheat was texting the 'other women' whilst they have been sat next to you, arranging dates with them whilst you were on your date with them.



One question you ask yourself is why? One question you wont get an answer for. And if you did would you believe it? Knowing that everything else they have said to you was a lie.

It is hard to remember, whilst you are going through the pain of being cheated on, that the person who cheated is not respecting you enough and not deserve you no matter how perfect they might seem to you.

You feel like you failed

From their actions you feel like a failure, insecure and your confidence is shattered. You feel like an idiot asking yourself 'how stupid could I be?' for not knowing this was going on and when you discover it has you try to salvage what you thought was a developing relationship.

They replaced you with someone else whilst leading you on.

You supported the cheat as they were going through difficult changes, you have understood that they are going to get stressed with work and everyday life challenges. You expect them to be the same and support you, treat you with respect, not in the same actions, in their own way. You accept and respect them for who they are. Never knowing they were a cheat.


You make plans together such as sharing a place to live together when you get jobs in the same place or try to be near as each other as you can be. You ask them if they want to do this and they say yes. You ask them if they want the both of you to be based near each other and they say 'if we can that would be good'. Not knowing they were lying. Giving no indication that all the time you were planning this that they were arranging dates with another person. To you they seem like they want to be in a relationship with you and 24 hours before hand they had taken your hand as you went on a date together.

You develop feelings for them over the period of time you are dating. You believe them when they say they want to be with you.

When you find out they have cheated the feeling of shock and wondering 'who is this person that I thought would not do this?' You wish the way you feel would go away and hoping that you are not in a nightmare of this anymore.


You wish you never met them because how they have made you feel. You ask the cheat if they are capable of not cheating again and they respond 'what can I say, it is who I am.'

The trust you build up over time is shattered within minutes upon hearing they have cheated.

Still think it is worth cheating? Think again. If you think you are missing something in your relationship talk it through with your partner, don't hurt them by replacing them and lead them on by meeting someone else.

When did cheating become a thing to do? It hurts people, causes breakdowns in relationships and brings down the confidence and self esteem of the victim.


Help and Support


Citizens Advice - Relationships